Wanderer's Memoirs

Im no cheater, im no desperado

2012-02-09T06:26:00.000-08:00

Well, I really can't understand, do you really need to force the customer to sign up, its like... not polite at all, and not telling all the truth, maybe im too naive, but yeah, I just want to do it my way..

Sales is getting harder, but I don't care, I know that it will be better, no matter what they say..

Coughing like hell now, but, nevermind, as long as i'm living my life, Not gonna giving up.

STPM result is coming out at the 1st of march, tentatively, hopefully it can be nice.. hopefully...

Challenging?Or daunting?

2012-01-23T19:38:00.000-08:00

Hola, it been a month since my last post.

Just started working, and everything is on track now.Someone actually ask me to blog.

After started working for 3 weeks, i mean , a real full time job, I found that there are things that I need to learn, badly, and desperately.

1st,How to tackle the customer

2nd.How to be good in PR

3rd.How to survive.

4th How to endure the smokey haze around me.

Hopefully everything will be good and clear, although I know that it won't, and I'll be sure that my heart will be as vast as the sky to accept it.

Well, since I gonna be in university soon(joking, 8 month?), I need to bought things like lappy, slacks,shirt(tight 1?),and some fees, and maybe a trip to relax myself..

Someone actually told me that I can get good result .Well, it just too early and too late, too early for result, too late for changes.

Still trying my best to get sometime to exercise, and all the people around me notice the changes, as i seems hunkier(happying)

When the sun shine brightly, a rain is sure to follow.

When the sun is warming up, the rain will come down and nourish

We never know which 1 is better or bad

If you had no concept of angelic and despair

Things will be crystal clear

When you have none of your senses,

Would the sun be bright and the rain be wet?

Dream is reality in sleep, who tell you that the reality is not a dream?

So, why grasp things hard?

Smile and rest yourself on your breath

Watching changes.

Let us be the audience for the endless drama,

where drama in your mind and the reality

just like streams of water flowing

There are time to dip in,

When crocodiles came, be aware.

Or just let the crocodiles bath in it?

The Day After Winter solstice

2011-12-23T04:27:00.000-08:00

So, today, I went to Kelly Service at Jalan Changkat Raja Chulan.

I get an offer, still thinking of it, Maxis Broadband Promoter, 1300 per month, 9am to 6pm , RM 50 commission for each package signed.

And it is bound to contract of 6 months

So, whatcha think?

Any opinion?

Plans

2011-12-17T05:11:00.000-08:00

So, what should I do? Spore is getting boring.Maybe I'm too old for PC games edi..

so , I think I should do something meaningful this time.

Daily workout

1) Prostration 108 time

2)Push up 100 time, in 3-4 session

3)Abdominal exercise

Books

-Liao Fan's Four Lessons

-A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle

-Observing impermanence in Life by Tzu Chi's volunteer

House cleaning..

Anymore??

Emancipation

2011-12-13T00:51:00.000-08:00

hualalalalalalllalallalalalallalalal

ahahahahahahaha

ohohohohoohohoh

finally, stpm ended

typing these while still wearing my school uniform, oh well, will be gong to dine in Jogoya later to celebrate mom n 2nd bro birthday..

so, what should do after all these?

exercise , stress management, working.....

oh well, im just too high for the moment for all these!~

Set fire to the rain

2011-12-08T19:12:00.000-08:00

Just finish my chemistry paper1

2011-11-30T00:13:00.000-08:00

huh, careless mistake for two question..

relax.. relax..

I will be having chemistry and biology tomorrow,just try my best, its too much to read, head aching...

negative emotion come and go, cant really concentrate now.... I guess, maybe im expecting too much, or im just weak, but, who knows?

Sometime, i do feel remorseful but, i guess i shouldn't be, there are many thing that i can do in the future..

I keep telling myself that I can, but, you know... The mind is just too lazy and heavy

The Carpenters-Yesterday Once more

2011-11-23T16:58:00.000-08:00

Just to share..

‘’Slamming my head on the floor''

2011-11-21T17:20:00.000-08:00

My leg is aching again, maybe its the 4th floor yesterday?well, just leave it aside.

I actually kill my general paper!

The graph, how could I forgot bout the total amount?@@

and how could I forgot the percentage on the chart's body?

GRRRRRRRRR

careless...

okay okay, now its time to concentrate on Bio and Chem...

leg injury....

2011-11-16T19:11:00.000-08:00

aiks, getting more and more careless, my ankle is like a tennis ball now.. have to walk with crutches... next week is my exam, everything will be fine!!!!

Grppppp..

2011-11-06T18:12:00.000-08:00

so, everything is calm and nice now.

currently taking some time to blog, life as it is, full of surprises, could i start playing this game right now? Ish, cheated by my crazy monkey mind again!

Its all a process, right?

What should I say? Life is uncertain, still need time to accept.

Thank cute Esper, Joaquin and people who support me, buckle up and enjoy the roller coaster.

Sorry, for not be able to control my emotion.

2011-11-04T17:29:00.000-07:00

Really don't know what to do.

Yesterday I tell my mom that I got to go out today, actually, to relax, but I have to give an excuse like I go out with my friends, then she continue to ask so much other questions, like, whose house are you going to? What are you gonna study over there.. bla bla bla bla

For the usual me, I will answer like ''I go there for studying '' put any ''.'' But suddenly I feel a rush of emotion inside me,I made a long sigh n I dashed into the room, she came over me and keep asking the question above.

Then i said,''Later i'll tell you, can you please leave now, I scare I gonna scold you.. ''

She seems like hurt, I really don't know what to do, I plug on earphone and hoping that my emotion will calm down, she leave, but I can hear that she start mumbling.

Then, I broke down.Surge of pain and emotion come over, I double confirm that the door is blocked so that no one can listen what am I doing inside, and I got to do the silent crying, means, the non shouting one.SO, it lasted for about half an hour, all sorts of thought in my mind, self humiliation, self prejudicism, self sarcasm, and some self encouragement.

When I calmed down, i go to the toilet for some face cleansing, my eyes were bulging red.

Then I walk out like nothing happen, straight to the kitchen to boil the water and walk back to the room, hopefully, in my heart, everything will be fine.

I slept early, hopefully my emotion can be fully calmed.

This morning, my mom is all over again, mumbling about this and that, and the most painful things that I heard is ''No 1 will be filial to me one, its my destiny..''

Vitas-Lucia Di Lammermoor

2011-11-02T23:11:00.000-07:00

Truly, voice from heaven!

Soliloquizing

2011-11-01T17:21:00.000-07:00

I ask myself, why the hell I spend so much time on computer?

No answer, but shortly,''I think I'm addicted!''

I ask myself, why am I seems like no mood for studies?

Shortly,''Coz you cant believe you can do it well, you are in the midst of confusion.

I ask myself again, what do I like?

This time,it turn out to be a complete silence.

I ask myself, why do I need to be cling to these things?

Oh, its karma of my mind working...

=.=

Need to be aware of my thought .. its less than 19 days edi weh!

Tibetan Plateau By Li Na

2011-10-31T21:42:00.000-07:00

是谁带来远古的呼唤？
Who is the one who brought the ancient call?

是谁留下千年的期盼？
Who is the one who left behind a thousand years of hopes and prayers?

难道说还有无言的歌？

Well,is there a song without words?

还是那久久不能忘怀的眷恋？

Or its the attachment that is unforgettable?

哦我看见一座座山一座座山川

Oh, I see mountains and streams

一座座山川相连

Mountains and streams joining together

呀啦索

Oh ,how wonderful?(Tibetan)

那可是青藏高原？

Is that the Tibetan Plateau?

是谁日夜遥望着蓝天

Who is the one, looking at the blue sky?

是谁渴望永久的梦幻

Who is the one , hoping for the eternal dream?

难道说还有赞美的歌?

Or, is there a song of praise?

还是那仿佛不能改变的庄严

Or, its the unchangeable solemn?

哦我看见一座座山一座座山川

Oh,I can see mountains and streams

一座座山川相连

Mountains and streams joining together

呀啦索

Oh,How wonderful(Tibetan)

那就是青藏高原

That is Tibetan Plateau

As life goes..

2011-10-30T03:56:00.000-07:00

Human,often looks for happiness,we think that money can buy happiness,when we get money, we use the money to buy our health back, at the end, we shout aloud,''WTF, where is happiness?!''

Being 'uber'ly sensitive , its normal for my emotion to be drifted by things around, sometime, even a slightest thing can result in a tsunami.

People often do something out of nothing, and we take that nothing as something.

Looking back, things often disappeared, what left , is only our concept.

Once, there's a man, wounded by an arrow, the 1st things that he do, is not trying to get treatment, yet, he choose to find the one who shoot him 1st, at the end, he is dead of tetanus.

Arrow here is like our emotion, do listen to your mind, and you'll know how badly it needs our attention.So, before doing anything further, come back and heal your emotion , or you will end up, not really like the persona above, but, well, you may lose yourself forever.

In life, there are concept for worldly things, yet happiness isn't bound by that, it is something there, its something inside.

Mingyur Rinpoche once said,"We are hunger of our own nature.''

Are you ready to search for the true you?

Blabbing

2011-10-25T23:59:00.000-07:00

Emotion is a hard subject to learn, it can be so vivid, yet it can be so disastrous.

Have you ever listen to your stream of thought?

Why do we even have emotion at the 1st place?

Thought are creative, destructive as well.

______________________________________________________

There are 20 odds day before the start of my STPM, trying my best, but ya, nothing much that i can do, but, the hope for four flat will always be there, but , life often come with surprises , who knows?

After my STPM, there will be about 9 month holiday, I guess, i will stuff it with working, exercising, reading , and self improving.

Pharmacy, chemistry , or?? I don't care, Its too early for me to make choices now. Trying my best not to let stress, erroneous view control my mind.Life , is too short for everything,.

Puppet, puppeted?

2011-10-11T01:07:00.000-07:00

Are you a puppet?

I guess, we are , if we are not aware

Propaganda spreading,

You are manipulated,not even you knew it.

You are the master

海浪-Waves

2011-09-18T04:19:00.000-07:00

思绪是否如海，

从未平静

回忆的风，艳阳台风

谁来聆听

海浪，是否又是海水的真面目

我乘舟在海中，对岸在哪里？

黑色的晚上，星星成为唯一的伙伴

美丽的鱼儿，跳出海面，抓也抓不住

海草，难免会卡着

自己，是否又能打开？

或许，自信的灯火，坚持的船桨，总能让我继续向前

来往的船，来者是客，去者留不住

涟漪散开，该学会看开

浪花总是不尽，要知道海的另一边是什么？

就不要沉醉与昨日浪花

梦想成了指引，而不是落脚点

Happy Mid autumn Festival n Happy Birthday Mr Leslie Cheung

2011-09-11T23:57:00.000-07:00

Lets hope to see a full moon tonight, oh yeah, Mr Leslie turn 55 this year, its been 6 years since the tragedy, I guess, 1 thing that will never change, more and more people will love him for his music and his movies.

70 days more before STPM!!!GAMBATEH!

For the 1st time in my life, i scold a teacher

2011-08-11T01:58:00.000-07:00

Well, i actually say the following words.

''Fuck! He is still cheating!''

To him.

I really cant control my emotion that time.

and yes, maybe i do act out of my ego.

and i feel bad after this, maybe I'm still immature

maybe its what he did?

Never give back our exam paper, i mean the writing part

Never give us writing exercise

Always presentation

always come in late

always not teaching

Our MUET marks came from his impromptus

and imagine he can give us marks on listening component, even he is not there.

and today v confronted him

The reason he give is, he thought we are not that care about MUET, and he say he have his own way in giving the mark..

and that's why I exploded in class today

well

hate the aftermath, thinking of apologizing.. hmm

Joke

2011-07-29T18:51:00.000-07:00

Miss M:I really whats the meaning of f***.

Miss J:Its when A go into B

Me: Is it when i go into the supermarket, means i f*** the supermarket?

(look at me for a while, then burst into laughter)

Miss J:Ya, you end up getting lots of mini market..

Me:Then how about wet market?

Miss J:When she is aroused?

Me: Dry market?

Miss J: You will be sue for raping.

Me: Blackmarket?

Miss J:Hooker?

New sling bag..120 days more...

2011-07-23T06:05:00.000-07:00

After a hectic morning of telematch , I went to TS with Esper, well, for a reason, a sling bag, i can say some how, i love sling bag, its just goes well with any casual clothing , but, these days, sling bag seems to be kind of..... ''dinoficated'', it becomes rarer and rarer... Well, luckily, the ever sharp eyes of Esper spot it on the 4th floor.. When i go in, it feels familiar...as if my scanner scan something, the tight trousers and clothing, edgy shoes, and the big, and STYLISH sling bag.. ehehhehehe..

After a few trying, finally gt the choice of the day...

Well, the next incident occurs..

Place-At the counter

My hands are holding RM 60

The cashier, looks like chinese, but can see layers of foundation on his face..

C- cashier

W-me

C: Are you from KL?(Acting like he didnt see Esper behind)

W:Yeah,u?

C:I'm from japan.

W:Wao,unbelieveable, you speak chinese fluently

C:I stay in Taiwan for 2 years

W:Oh i see

C:But i still cant speak malay.. haha

W:Well, you might need to stay in malaysia for 2 more years

C:I stayed here for 3 years already.Still cant( Still acting like Esper isnt there)

W:oh..Thank you(Left that place after getting the change)

Lol, is he trying to courting me or what?

Vaining and dreaming?@@

给自己的情书 Love Letter For Myself

2011-07-18T02:15:00.000-07:00

Singer-Faye Wong
Written by-Albert Leung
Music by- C.Y.Kong

请不要灰心你也会有人妒忌
Please don't be discouraged,People will be jealous about you too
你仰望到太高贬低的只有自己
The high expectations will only lower your self esteem
别荡失太早旅游有太多胜地
Please, don't be lost so fast, there are still many destination in the journey
你记住你发肤会与你庆祝钻禧
Please, remember that your body, will celebrate your year of golden jubilee
啦啦啦慰藉自己
La La La , console yourself
开心的东西要专心记起
Remind yourself about the happy things in life
啦啦啦爱护自己是地上拾到的真理
La La La, loving yourself is the truth found on the earth itself
写这高贵情书
Writing this noble love letter
用自言自语作我的天书
Soliloquize into a heavenly booklet
自己都不爱怎么相爱怎么可给爱人好处
How do your love ones benefit,if you are not even loving yourself?
这千斤重情书
This heavy booklet
在夜阑尽处，如门前大树
Its like a tree in front of the door, in the deepest and darkest of night
没有他依靠
Without his support
归家也不必撇雨
You won't be hit by a single drop of rain when its time to go home
请不要哀伤，我会当你是偶像
Please don't be sad, I'll make you my idol
你要别人怜爱，请安装一个药箱
If you wants other to love you, you might just need a first aid kit
做什么都好别为着得到赞赏
Don't do anything, in the hope of getting praises
你要强壮到底再去为对方着想
You must be tough,before thinking for others
啦啦啦慰藉自己
La La La, console yourself
开心的东西要专心记起
Remind yourself about the happy things in life
啦啦啦爱护自己是地上拾到的真理
La La La, Loving yourself is the truth found on the earth itself
写着高贵情书
Writing this noble love letter
用自言自语作我的天书
Soliloquize into a heavenly booklet
自己都不爱怎么相爱,怎么给爱人好处
How do your loves on benefit, if you are not loving yourself?
这千金重情书
This heavy booklet
在夜阑尽处如门前大树
Its like a tree in front of the door, in the darkest and deepest of night
没有他依靠
Without his support
归家也不必撇雨
You won't be hit by a single drop of rain when its time to go home
抛得开手里玩具
To throw the toys in the hand
先懂得好好进睡
First you need to know how to sleep soundly
深谷都攀过后
After crawling the valley
从泥泞寻到这不甘心相信的金句
Finally found this unbearable truth in the mud itself
写这高贵情书
Writing this noble love letter
用自言自语做我的天书
soliloquize into a heavenly booklet
自己都不爱怎么相爱怎么给爱人好处
Hows your love one benefit if you are not even loving yourself?
这千金重情书
This heavy booklet
在夜阑尽出如门前大树
Its like a big tree, in front of the door, in the darkest and deepest of night
没有他依靠归家也不必撇雨
Without his support, you won't be hit by a single drop of rain when its time to go home
我要给我自己写这高贵情书
I want to write this noble love letter to myself
用自言自语作我的天书
Soliloquize into a heavenly booklet
自己都不爱怎么相爱怎么给爱人好处
You are not even loving yourself, then hows your loves one gonna benefit?
凭着我这千斤重情书
With my heavy booklet
在夜阑尽处如门前大树
It is like a big tree in front of the door, in the deepest and darkest of night
没有他依靠归家也不必撇雨
Without his support, you won't be hit by a drop of rain when its time to go home.

This song is one of my favourite, sorry cause i can't post the song here. Albert Leung like to use a lot of metaphor in his song.This song is quite nice, in terms of technique and the vivid pictures that Faye had brought out.

I guess, when we are asked about loving ourselves, we might be stunned, what do I want?Well, we are told, no to be too sad, or discouraged, we are not that unfortunate. There are still vast differences between your expectation with the reality itself, failure in fulfilling your sky high expectations result in a bruised ego, collapsing your confidence and self esteem.

Words such as destinations are used to reflect the choices we have in life, we don't have to be so sad and depressed, as the choices are still there. Your experiences itself , its the best gift , which might just be your own golden jubilee celebration, celebrating the life itself.

The love letter and heavenly book, are vivid metaphor of experiences and values in life,by ever learning the lesson of life itself, we will know about the choices we have, and the cure for pain, as long as we are mindfulness about it, everything will past.Losing anything important is a way of life, put it in your mind before doing anything might just help you to free yourself from over attachment on something, let it be love,money, fame, as long as you are living as yourself.

There are no guarantees in life, be sure about it, even love tarnishes.If we want to be loved, be prepared that we might be hurt, that's why the first aid kit had to be prepared.Beside, before even we learn to let go, we have to learn how to relax 1st, clear thinking might just be the cure itself.The deep trench in life, somehow, is a better training ground.Its not bad ending down there, lesson learnt are more precious than anything that you had.

So peeps, soliloquizing?

12 horoscopes in my own POV

2011-07-15T18:24:00.000-07:00

1.Aries
Not thinking much actually, do, and do.Hate complexity, rarely thinks about others , open heartiness , its all about action , hot temper, easily affected by others, target orientated, wacky, like to be centre of attention if its under pressure for too long, tend to let go very fast.

2 Taurus
Step by step , high self esteem, know what are they doing, stubborn, mostly due to their egoistic side, determined, not going to give up.Blur , as in term of others opinion, like to hide things up, doesn't like to lie, yet can be a good liar.Can be very sweet.

3Gemini
Smart, win with speech, always in a dilemma, exhibit multiple image , depend on the condition.Their true nature will be shown when they are not working.Not as strong as anyone think.Like to gossip.Like to play, can be hyperactive and cold in a short moment.

4 Cancer
Caring, sweet,emotional, yet can be rational when it comes to question related to work, not stubborn but they think that what they do is correct, homely, hardworking, if the things is aligned with goals, can be naughty.They can be really bad if they are really frustrated and disappointed.

5 Leo
The leader, strong motive , the fighter, like to be praised, ego orientated, like to be heard, like to have time with friends, always go in group, loud voice,cam be easily tricked.Emotion can be deeply affected by love.Like to cheat themselves

6 Virgo
Perfectionist, observant, not someone you can manipulate , workaholic, will go well with supports, complaint about anything, mostly about himself, tidiness and cleanliness freak, rules orientated, wise, a good listener,sarcastic.

7 Libra
The centre of attraction, people are attracted by them naturally, like and somehow obsessed with fair and square, like beautiful things, will always do things out of your mind, cheeky, have strong and virtually immovable principle in work.Love can be a headache for them.

8 Scorpio
Not your average Joe, can be easily hurt. Their personality can be easily affected in the childhood, before moulded into adult, so, they can be outgoing , cheeky, optimistic , yet some of them can be cold, emotional.Strong determination, need time to relax sometime,prone to emotion .Sexy.Protective.Strong desire.
9 Sagittarius
Optimistic on the outside, yet they can be lack of self confidence at time, people are attracted by their smile and openness, love to laugh, not really care about image, outgoing, hot tempered ,mood can be calm down after some groan.Hard worker, if its aligned with goal and interest.

10 Capricorn
Looks normal on the outside, but often with plans in their head. Rules and steps orientated , determined, can be quite aggressive,workaholic, will do anything to achieve goal, not really a good speaker.Loyal, will hold grudges.Result orientated.Strong willed, often hides from others

11 Aquarius
Caring but cold, optimistic and pessimistic at the same time , mind works like a super machine, can get tired easily, sensitive, good observer, tend to be different.Propagate universal love.Emotion can drive them crazy.Will become super workaholic if they really love that things.Scientifically orientated.

12 Pisces
Love, like to be cared , lovely person , emotional, cute, will always in a dilemma, a high achiever, sensitive, easily hurt, scar can be long lasting.Can be a monster if they are suppressed for a long time, naughty

When Vainess strike

2011-07-13T01:34:00.000-07:00

P/s-I still don't know how to post up pic... it gone messy....

No photoshop here..zz

Comment?

HeartBroken by classmates

2011-07-05T01:59:00.000-07:00

I try my best to turn out in school last week, as time is running out.

and well, yesterday, one of my classmate wrote this on the facebook group wall..

''just wanna say,if u(anyone) ever get sick please please do not come to school or to work or our publicly ..do not be selfish..Do not infect others with UR SICKNESS... I repeat do Not be selfish...

when u noe ur sickness is very bad, dun come la, i noe u want a good attendance record, u dun wan to miss wat the teacher is teachin n all..but seriously la, dun b the cause of others missing school and not being able to study at a time like this hmm????

these two coming out from ur friends , who was laughing n chattin at the afternoon before

Its too little

2011-06-29T02:23:00.000-07:00

Huh, dusty blog that is left untouched for about 3 months.

clap for myself for getting MUET band 5

slap myself for falling sick

sometime , its rather annoying when you try very hard to prevent yourself from getting those unwanted comments.

yet, what can i do?

there are 15 uncles n aunties with their mouth keeping bullet n fireworks at the same time...

Life by Sarojini Naidu

2011-04-20T01:02:00.000-07:00

Children,ye have not lived,to you it seems
Life is a lovely stalactite of dreams
Or carnival of careless joys that leap
About your hearts like billows on the deep
In flames of amber and of amethyst

Children, ye have not lived, ye but exist
till some resistless hour shall rise and move
your hearts to wake and hunger after love
and thirst with passionate longing for the things
That burn your brows with blood red sufferings

Till ye have battled with great grief and fears
and borne the conflict of dream shattering years
wounded with fierce desire and worn with strife
Children, ye have not live: for this is life

Sarojini Naidu, a.k.a Nightingale Of India

The Hymn Of Mind

2011-04-08T23:07:00.000-07:00

Like a fire that ignite

Hope and expectation are destroyed,

By the turning of reality.

When what's left is ashes, would the flower ever bloom again?

Like the waves and waves of water

Crushing the Realm of rationality

Tormenting the hope, feeling?

When what you see is the pieces alone?

Like the wood that turn to ashes

or the firework that end with smoke

Life is ever created and destroy

Without complex metaphor

It is as it is

Just like a flower cannot bloom by itself

Things don't mere happen as you ask for it

Nor it is controlled, nor it is independant

Just like waves and wind that manifest into a storm

Nothing happen without causes and factors.

Arising and it ends, its not in our hands

Yet, the mind itself can be a friend

Just let the emotion run,

Like the river that flow

Nor magnifying, nor pressing its existence

Simply put your eyes on

Vivid images conjured by ego,experience

Which can be equally illusion

Things can be neutral

Shaped by kaleidoscope

Go beyond then

Condition arises , it ends

It is the ever rule that govern

Split second, uncountable changes Thus, where is forever?

Oh,its a projection of ignorance

Just let it be, at least the best way

at least I feel its movement

at least I learnt my lesson

Do not try to analyse your emotion

when analysis itself is a puppeted by ego and emotion

You are free

Yet, the cage projected as a manifestation of habits

Go beyond

Change with the condition

Pond is the best mirror when its calm

Just like the mind, introspection can only be done when its calm

What it is, let it be Accepting , understanding, let it go

It is defined by changes

Reminiscence-Out Of Reach

2011-04-03T23:42:00.000-07:00

Well, its song again..Out Of Reach, a song by one of my favourite singer, Gabrielle

People said that it will be easier to walk out from pain and let go when you had found a way to face the pain, accepting it as something as natural.Everyone will have that specific period of time, well, I guess, this start from last Halloween.

''I guess I dont have the chemistry with you.''

''Err, ya, so you want a breakup?''

''Ya''

Well , never expect something like this happen in the journey way back from Sunway Pyramid,yet, a hard headed person like me, will take it, and force myself not to cry..

I try to be as calm as possible in the rest of the journey.

He try to give out reasons in the journey, thinking back now, its like, from what AA said, I guess it hurts more.. really, in the sense that when AA starts saying

''My Friend don't think we are suitable.''

''We don't have the kind of chemistry''

''I felt that I force myself to love you''

''I try to love you but I cant''

and its only two month!

Seriously, 2 month hurts..

Start like thunder, end in a split seconds

I guess, I'm putting too much expectation on this, right, we expect things go in our own way, but yeah, nature have its own cause and condition, which is beyond our control, maybe after the chemical reaction ends, it ends.

It started when i left some comment on my brother, Ryan account..

Well, started to add me, and we have chat together,everything just spread like wild fire.

AA start to come around for a visit, find me in my tuition centre, doing lots and lots of things

It made me believe that he is the one, well, although I knew they will be no the one

Yet, it is normal for people who have low self esteem and constant insecurities to cling ...on everything they get, which bring them pain...

Photograph session in Putrajaya

Meal with friends

Shopping...

Well, it just like things they do

and it all ends in two month..

every good things will eventually come to an end, maybe its something that I wish, which indeed, is my delusion.

But, yeah, I will not believe in ''I love you forever'',''You are my only one'', at least, this is what I learnt

According to AA's axcest profiles note,it is written that AA shed his tears after that..

Well, as for me, I start to blame myself for my fault..Its like, I'm not giving enough, and I'm not doing enough

After that, I try to force myself to heal, which I failed, I guess, everything need time

To accept..

In the midst of November, Esper and I go for Paul's show, I think that I'm brave enough to face him..

Yet I'm wrong, we had just became like stranger, no conversation..

and im in the ocean of emotion for the whole show

Ryan plan to have meal after that, together, and i had made a stupid excuse to escape

Later that night, I chat with Ryan..

He tell me that , seriously he had moved on, why not you?

this actually hurts more

well, maybe its because everything ends so quick that I dont have time to prepare for it?

After asking jeff's comment, well, he say , breakup in the peak moment is the worst.

As, it destroy all your dreams and expectation...

well, seriously, AA is now with a better guy, just hope for the best, as for me, time is still needed

Thanks for Esper to be my side all along...

Random Facts about me

2011-03-30T07:23:00.000-07:00

1. I have a poor eye sight Imagine, wearing spectacles with power of 1 k and at the same time, diagnose with lazy eyes.. I mean, I live with spectacles since i was 5..Its just something that I cant live with... Pros-Make me look like a gentleman as my eyes are big enough to give a ''cannibal'' eyesight to others if Im nt smilling Cons- It make my beautiful eyes become smaller.

2. I have a history of extreme low self esteem for about 10 Years Dont ask me how I get through it, but i get through it, although it might not be 100% Things get better when I try to stand up, after all, things are't that hard, and I ain't that weak. But somehow, it still haunt me sometime, as, the words'' You cant'' that I previously record in my brain will arise and make a good day go back, I guess, Buddhism help me much to deal with it. 3. I doubt anything, including myself .Doubt is something that come natural with me.I think I doubt almost anything, and that cause me lots of problem when I am interacting with others as like... I cant believe anyone more than 50%, from what I can see, it is something created from my self protection attitudes.But still, although it might be a good things sometime, but somehow, I doubt myself, I guess most of my friends know it well.. I have to persuade myself again and again that believing although might not be what it will be, but it might just be it.

4.I am crazy about salad Please, any1, salad is the best things in the world, its healthy, fresh, juicy, tangy,crunchy, and its perfect..Imagine lettuce , tomatoes, cucumber, mixed with Thousand Island sauce, or fruit with Lime sauce...Mouth watering as no more starchy and meaty food are needed..Let it be caesar salad, Rojak, or what so ever.As long as it is salad

5.I am not saying Im a vegan, but, meat always make me feel weird Maybe its due to the fat in meat or the way that people handle meat, i feel weird after eating too much meat, its like, you want to vomit, but you cant..the same things go with sugar, salt and oil, if i consume too much of it, a feeling of nausea will arise.. uhh...and that might destroy my mood for a few hours.

6 Nicknamed walking encyclopedia Its what define a nerd, but i guess, i am a weirdo nerd. Let it be history, science, social, or about people, I think it fills about 80% of my brain.. It help me in chatting and infomation sharing.. Yet, it won't help me much in exam, especially i have some problem in translating english into bahasa... darn..

(to be continue, a date with mathematics is needed)

Too Bad I am An Aquarius

2011-03-28T18:16:00.000-07:00

(p/s This is the notes that I had posted on facebook , which strike about 250 likes and 50++ comment, now im doing a translation about it)

可惜我是水瓶座(Too Bad I am An Aquarius)

原来你这样珍惜我(It's till now that I realised how much you appreciate about me,)

从前在热恋中都没听讲过(I never knew it before when we are so deeply in love.)

别说这种型货哪里留得住我(Don't say that how a person like you can hold me for long,)

到底是为什么分手你很清楚(The reason for our breakup is something that you know clearly) Chorus:

如何笨到底但到底还是我(How to be ignorant, but at the same time, without losing me myself?) 谁人对我好，对我差，太清楚(Its clear to me that who treats me well or the other way round)

想继续装傻，却又无力受折磨(Trying to be ignorant,yet its harder for me to bear the pain) 心理羡慕那些人，盲目到不计后果（Thus I admire those who can do it blindly, without thinking of the consequences)

我就回去，别引出我泪水(So, I went back to the past,yet, hopefully it will not cause any flow of tears)

尤其明知水瓶座最爱是流泪(As you know what aquarius like the most is crying)

若然道别是下一句，请你闭上你的嘴(If goodbye is the next thing, please keep your mouth shut) 无谓再会，要是再会更加心碎(There is no need for meeting each other again as it only causes more pain)

要是回去，没有止痛药水(If there is a chance to go back to the past, there will be no analgesics) 拿来长岛冰茶换我半晚安睡(Just give me a glass of Long Island Ice Tea for a half night of rest)

十年后或现在失去(Its either losing it now, or ten years later)

反正结局都是唏嘘(Its will still end with tears)

够绝情，我都赶我自己出去(Its cruel enough that I forced myself to leave)

犹如最结实的堡垒(It's like the strongest fort)

原来在逐点崩溃逐点粉碎(Which is collapsing and crumbling slowly)

极固执的如我也会挨不下去(For a stubborn person like me, it will be hard to continue)

每天扮着幸福始终有些心虚(It's harder for me to fake out the joy everyday)

(Chorus)

This is a familiar song to most of us, I guess, its a vivid picture of what an aquarius really is Wearing masks is something that aquarius need in daily lives , due to their ever accurate observing skill, which they can sense even a slightest change around them.Smilling is what they could do for the changes that occur.

Aquarius will be always thinking of others, thus, its normal for them to sacrifice themselves for other.Its clear for them who is the good ones and who will be the manipulating ones.They struggles to maintain, at least, the win win situation in their lives.

Aquarius hate to be bounded by others, or by concepts, as they believe that people will be in their best when spiritual freedom is given. Things will be different is you are included in his dream, then , you will be the luckiest person on earth.But no everyone is allegible for this, as everyone is included in their dream.

If you have a breakup with Aquarius, they will be crying alone, but still faking out the smile in front of you, to let you know that they will be good without you, which actually means the opposite, as their dream had been shattered by you.You will never know how much pain he is bearing.

Life is ever contradictory to aquarius, as they are proud with their observant and analytical qualities, as they can easily know where the problem come arises,yet, it painful for them, as most of the times, they cannot do anything about it.If he/ she have an painful experience, insecurities will follow them forever, which might be hidden from sight.Thus, they learn to predict, to prevent from getting the same failure again, yet, that the thing that happens. Aquarius will be remorseful for most of the things that they did They will face the pain alone for most of the time, letting themselves to be ''punish'' by the pain Then, they will be comforting themselves, forcefully dragging themselves back to normal by using their rope of rationality.

Its a normal things for aquarius to be sarcastic to themselves, as this is the only way that they can be awake form the dream induced illusion. It is true that aquarius have tears? Tears is just the condensation of pain they have in the journey of their dream.

Have you ever tasted Long Island Iced Tea? With a sweet scent of tea, it can leave you in coma.The tea signifying the dream and the optimistic sides of aquarius, while the alcohol itself best resembles with the suppression of pain by the aquarius when they face their pain. You know why aquarius is ever changing?Its because they need an excuse or reason for themselves to continue the journey, in other word, it is insecurities.Aquarius is one of the most stubborn one..

Its clear that they can't bear the pain, or it is out of their limit, yet, they choose to take it up, no for themselves,but for others, let it be friends, family , etc. Sometimes, aquarius approach you in an eccentric manner.

Which make you laugh or annoyed Well, its just a way of making them to believe the brightside of humanity and the world .Thus, laugh and smile for them. Aquarius is ever forged by glasses, when they break, the only way that they could ever healed, is by putting themselves into the burning flame, so that they can be remoulded again. Its said that they are prone to depression, well I guess, its all due to the ''Long Island Iced Tea'', right?

Keep dreaming aquarius, Let them see your shine. They say, aquarius is rational and witty .But, it is clear that they wanders between emotion and rationality, dream and reality Some say, aquarius is eccentric, well, i guess , its just a way for them to shine, to let other sees. Some say, they are ever changing. Well, without changes?So, where are suprises?

我的中文文章。。看看吧。。

2011-03-26T06:43:00.000-07:00

http://www.facebook.com/notes/%E6%88%91%E7%88%B1%E6%88%91%E7%9A%84%E6%98%9F%E5%BA%A7/%E7%BD%91%E5%8F%8B%E5%8E%9F%E5%88%9B%E6%96%87%E7%AB%A0%E5%8F%AF%E6%83%9C%E6%88%91%E6%98%AF%E6%B0%B4%E7%93%B6%E5%BA%A7/199177063447941

all in, no out?

2011-03-25T18:46:00.000-07:00

after several persuasion by Esper, finally i decided that I'll go for a counselling session..
This week is like a giant PMS period for me... Wow

Most of my friends , teachers get affected by my turbulating mood..Especially my classmate, On thursday, I have an major explosion, I cant even be rational anymore..

So, yesterday, a session with the counselor.

The condition for the session is quite relax..

So, we get started with all the tiny bit of things in my life..

My hope on Getting 4 flat, but i cant,

My Parent's problem

I tell her that I feel emotional and self hatred at times, but had a harder time to pull myself back to the normal mode

I am quite low self esteem before that....

So, after all the analysis, she said Im taking in too much stress and problem, yet, didnt gave out, thus, causing myself to be extremely emotional lately..

geeks..

The suggestion are..

Exercise and screaming.. haha

dilemma

2011-03-16T18:36:00.000-07:00

I guess, everyone will have a moment of emoness, or I should say in a dilemma, doubting yourself whether you can or you cant, but sometime, it can be seen as a mental tricks that we tend to believe it is true.Mind can cheat i guess

For past few month, it seems like that mind troubles me a lot.form school work to house, and getting relax on a shopping wont help much for a eccentrico and weirdo like me, it bother me much, just hope that i can really continue.. especially after so much news about STPM stirred lately.. and how hard things started to change... activity activity and activity, should i say my school is crazy?nope, i think , if i say it it changes nothing... Whose school here ask the Form 6 student to organise Hi Tea, sport activities, coluntary work for the school...

I guess, the main problem now is how i gonna continue.. keep moving on no matter what

with less understanding from family..
aiks aiks aiks
i guess im nt alone..
just stay strong

Happy birthday

2011-02-17T01:45:00.000-08:00

19th year... since I come to this world.. keke

let make some wishes..

happy owez
smile owez
full energy owez
joking owez
peace owez
no war
4 flat..
lap joo all owez..

When busy life start.. opps!!

2011-01-19T18:59:00.000-08:00

Well, for a normal pre-u student like me.. actually its rare in Malaysia for a youngster to take on form 6...So, I am the alien among my friends... But, nevermind, consider myself still enjoying my life

1st things.. this month i used about RM 200++ already.. huh... half of my salary gone..

with increasingly soaring apppetite.. i doubt that what happen within.. just, these days i get hungry so easily...

Everyday, things are in its fixed cycle, wake up at 5.30, minor workout, breakfast, bath, school, house, nap, homework, sleep...

Things are getting complicated and harder though... Just hope that I can be strong enough to take it.. Take it as a man!!

So, next thing is , continue to work hard on studies, relax sparingly...

geesh... PA and Math causes me to have headache.. zzz

Racial issues in school, actually it only a small matter, and some1 just magnify it.. owhhh

the sensitive 'p'

________________________

every1 seems busy lately.. well, thats normal, some of my friends even work for night shift so that they can pay for tuition..

am y am i not going to get a tuition?

well, lets say i just want to be cruel to myself..
cutting down costs..

as i am using too much...

01-01-2011

2010-12-31T22:20:00.001-08:00

Happy new year to all, to the frequent blogger ,or maybe u just stop by from google travelling..
Yep, 2 more days and the school's days start again..

Let see, as usual, no mood for counting down... sleeping is the best thing to do, beside having a smooth defaecation process

Stress is building up without my acknowledgement.. haha.. start to get emotional lately...

well, i guess, sometime, you just need to face it all, at least , for the reason to make yourself continue, Now, what I want to do is get back the mood of studying

''Your ambition is causing you alot of stress''
''Study is just a part of life''
''Just do your best, then its okay''

These quote just came out from people around me... haha

My stubborn mind is just too stubborn to accept it

But at the same time, the stress from the ambition itself force me down

no mood for anything, until i start to escape from books

thats what scared me off..

am i giving myself a lot of stress?

im blur, how do i continue?

Reminiscence

2010-12-12T15:44:00.000-08:00

haha.. 18 days more we will be counting down to 2011..

since donkey is doing a ''report''(opps) on her blog.. i guess i will do the same though.. in a not so Q&A way..

Year of change I guess, I think this year taught me much..I never realised that I am so strong.. From start to end..Repeating the phrase ''it's just a process'' and ''nothing is permanent'' guided me so far, so good. Start to aware of life itself, and the surrounding.. Things will never be as ''I want it to''For everything that happens, just face it..

Start from PLKN, till now,I guess,it isn't that hard, take on daily challenge, mentally and physically..Learn to be socialble.. Open , and considerate had made me mature..Well, still embarassed bout the ''LRT lameness'' yesterday.. haha..But still thank Chee Kong for his guidance..

Suddenly, I feel that i have much more to bear, to do, and I think Im happy with it..At least Im still doing something..Mom is in her emo period due to my brother.. Dad is getting better..There is only 3 person now in this house.. I will try my best to do what I can.

Hey, Friends, hows life?
p/s please tell me in fb or what so ever..haha

hmmm.. let see, later will be going to school for bio experiment.. errgh..... enjoying it.. haha

Soil analysis is my fav..
Where you can burn soil .. haha..
It is just like foundation used in make up.. especially the muddy part.. wahahah...Like mask.. haha..

Bug and plant preservation hahah...
That is more interesting although I pity the bug so much..

Taking post as Chairman for the researher club and class monitor is a new thing this year..After advice from friends, i decided to take the challenge...

Hopefully I will be on the mood for everthing,.. thats my only hope..

Im going to penang at X-mas eve.. Sorry Ryan and Gengson,I need to do something there..^^

hey, got to take a bath, there will be a part 2
''BE PATIENT, BUT NOT IN A HOSPITAL''

XD.. tata

What would you do?

2010-12-12T04:36:00.000-08:00

I guess, the facebooker now in Malaysia is all crazy bout Mr Alviss Kong.

There are even people calling him the Malaysian Romeo..

OMB..

I am not trying to insult anyone now.But,if I analyse it logically, is it worth it?

1st, when he is dead , he is the one who think that it is something heroic, but is it?

What about his family????

Losing a son, a brother, is not something like a mosquito bite...Its overwhelming.. He is taking away the affection from the people around just like that.. piak...I really feel pity for the family now...

Next, his x-gf, she is the real victim now.. well, i guess... Believe it or not, some Fans of Alviss will say that she is a b****...Well hold on.. hold on.. Love is not something that can be forced, you can love someone, but, you cant expect other people to do the same.. The love between couple is something like last second it is, the next second it isn't.When the feeling isnt there.. you cant cheat yourself and the other ....So, the best way is still break it.. I don't think the girl had done anything wrong.. This is life.. Stop insulting the girlfreind..

Well, it is clear that Alviss Kong might be a ''role model'' for other guy in the future.. The impact is overwhelming..Please be rational..

If its on his side.. He is very down at that time, I think..
He should have people at his side, to pull him back, but i guess it might be too late for him
But, its not too late for us ..
Maybe he just need an ear..
Look back .. people around you might have this ''pre-suicide'' thingy..
be aware.. give ur hand..
Nothing is more important than continue your life..
And please.. don't waste your precious life.

Life will not be perfect like the fairy tale..

People,please dont think that in love, irrational sacrifice and stubborn attitude will bring you to anything..
Stories are stories..Reality is reality...

I guess i will get a lot of slam on my blog.. haha...

nvm.. just expressing my thought

The report on EMO

2010-12-10T06:43:00.000-08:00

''Its about rising up from previous fall..''

Honestly, people who know me will be like..
''Oh he is emo again..''
Well, some time emo is a sign that its telling you ..
You are not taking care of yourself right
Well,
Its in pain that you start to know whats wrong with you, where you need to change
okay.. dont bash me for being a ''emoish philosopher''..

The funny fact that i found out about people is..
When you are emo, you try to make yourself feel better by blaming yourself, but actually it make it worst

When you are emo, you lock yourself from others as you think you are too bad for them now

When you are emo, don't try to force yourself out of it...It will make the condition worst

When you are emo , the solution will be facing the emotion fluctuation... then, you will know the causes

When you are emo,please don't force yourself back to normal just in time..

When you are emo, please find some1 to talk to...

When you are emo, judgement will be 90%wrong

When you are emo, the negative side of you will be floating out.. asking you to do all sort of stupid things..Please pull yourself to the middle...

When you are emo, try not to blame..

When you are emo, you feel that you are moodless...but it is not true..So, go out and do your things

What do i learn these day?

wet pillow, clothes, shoes..

Life is a bungee jump.. too much things happen these day...

The cold war in my family.. which I can face it well without much mood fluctuation.. which means calm.. by putting impermanence as a theory behind it..

There are 3 left in my house now.My eldest brother left the house at 3rd December...Emotional?
Ego? Don't know..Cause I am still a third person, the most that i can do is be considerate.. and leave space for possibility.

''If you cant change, follow it''

When you fall, dont blame the stone, but stop and stare, its the time for you to learn..

blurrrrrr.... im shooting out endless verse again.. zz

hey, how bout joo?

This is a song called ''The freely moving flower'' by my favourite singer SaDingDing..I found something parallel with me in it.. hope you all have a nice day ahead

Lyrics
啦。。我是自由行走的花x4
可曾在梦中遇见彼此熟悉的脸
人儿为美丽的缘求佛了太多年
冰山上有一朵雪莲端坐群山之巅
他们说，她已生千年，有她就得到了永远

啦。。我是自由行走的花x4

如果你只是等待爱情它不会悄悄地来
就像不上那冰山怎会见到美丽的雪莲
人儿呀祈求花儿让他们得到永远
雪莲说永远并不远，就在你的心里面

啦。。我是自由行走的花X4
我是自由行走的花

就在这个冬天雪花片片从天上飘下
雪莲花就在这一刻变成了片片雪花
所有的人儿在雪花中找到永远的家
从此后懂得永远的你找到了熟悉的他

啦。。我是自由行走的花X4
我是自由行走的话

School day will start again

2010-09-19T03:04:00.000-07:00

Hey, folks... so how are you guys now?enjoying your life?i guess we should be ...So, tomorow, my life will start again, indeed, i think it will be better...Freshly rest..

So, what would be you guys doing next? I will be trying to enjoy my Form 6.. haha.. BTW, good luck to the Upper 6, as they need to face STPM trial tomorow..(Spinechill!)and also to the UPSR candidate.. hehe...

I m playing as hard as I can in the holiday... Well, last Thursday, got a suprise message from Mr Dalbert..zz Haha.. he got it.. i got it.. lol..

So, yesterday, I go to Leisure mall for Sadingding's Cd.. Ya, i got it.Luckily, coz it really sell like hotcake .while he buy Redoxon for himself and some evening primrose oil for his mom..(My suggestion), then , we decide to go Putrajaya and Cyberjaya... for some camwhoring..and i end up bcome his model..haha.. not much car is at putrajaya..

Ya, i got a chance to try on Lebanese food at Saba Restaurant.. quite nice.. heh.. Ariff, you should go try also... not the usual u will find...

Endup in Pandan Indah for PanMee again..haha

16th September 2010

2010-09-15T21:10:00.000-07:00

okay... Mr Albert Ang is beside me lol...

so, holidays gonna ends... school hectic life will start..yet again.. ya. i mean .. need to study for chemistry , biology, math..hah.. life begins, we cant escape from it....so, what i gonna do, keep moving on, fighting... accepting things as they come, let them as they go... this is life... i need to enjoy it somehow.

think of what?
how should i know then?

freshly to the start.. giving myself a new start..yay

Mumbling again..

2010-08-31T06:46:00.000-07:00

So, tomorow I will have my MUET and Chemistry exam....haiz... my eyes are heavy now.. Maybe due to the biology.. Codon!, anticodon... huh..

So, yesterday Ying chat with me.. she said that she can't get her dear.. even after she sms so many time.. He still didnt reply.. I tell her give him space, but she said I can't understand her..I think I can, but guys do need space sometime.... apart from relationship.I guess..Just be grateful and appreciate your relationship now... haha... next time if got chance tell you my story.

So, im half exhausted.. and really tired!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just want to rest abit.. but nevermind..after this week is school holiday!yes!

2day is the Independence Day,and today should be a good day to rest..but although Ryan and Gengson ask me out, but, I cant.. coz, i need sometime to spend on my Biology and chemistry... but thanks for your invitation...

Once In A green moon

2010-08-22T05:28:00.000-07:00

Sorry .. for not blogging^^(slam him)

These days start to get busy....But, I quiet enjoy it..maybe i get crazy already...Numb in form 6.. a journey for me to discover... Yes, he told me before.. Believe.. yes ..Thanks you..Andy.. but.. the problem is from me..

I think the best way for me to enjoy life is.. dont stop my pace.. I guess.. create simple miracle from ordianary things, a joke, a topic.. ya.. I guess, I am lucky to get some good friends like them... at least Im still alive..

Thinking back, i guess its a process, a person never learn to love oneself until one had gone through the hell..the hell that one made..One can never learn to be optimistic if one hadn't be pesimmistic. Self reliance is always a must for me, I guess..Though I know, there is a lie in the word believe..but, let me crash, let me burn as a consequences of believe..cause there will be nothing wrong about believe, its my choice, so, as long as I take up the responsibility..

真的，突然觉得自己长大了。。爱了自己。。开心了。。偶尔，也会悲观，但是。。我不想去天堂，也不想到地狱，我只想在地球。。所以，还是在中间比较好。。。还是很感谢陪我走过的人。。特别是‘他’，或许，我们之间距离太大，朋友，或许是最好的选择。。怪就怪，我太怪了。

水瓶座的人不理智，是会遍体鳞伤。所以，不如就，理智下去。。。狠狠把自己敲碎，得来的，是学会了，要爱自己。。在其中浴火重生。。

看见我的朋友，还蛮甜蜜的。。。看看我自己。。自己放了。。就不要怪人咯。。考试要到咯。。我可要加把劲了^^

Believe or not to?

2010-06-27T01:32:00.000-07:00

hah.. so here , i nag again.. haha.. thank you all to hear it..

So, Semester 1 of Form 6 start .. officially.. homework start to be tonne@@.. it is hard!!!!!especially math... i gonna faint jor...... and it just statistic and number basic....zzzzz

Then, chemistry.. i have some problem in doing the calculation.. haizzzz.... hopefully Mr Lee will discuss it.. Organic chemistry still okay for me.. Biology is full with terms.. glycine... asparagine......and this called protein @@ and globular protein?haha...Finally I understand why Eggwhite will solidify when heated^^

now, what bother me the most is my car learning.. time is running out before my L license expired.after 13 hours of learning.. I still cant fully control my clutch, nearly crash.. poor stering handling and even worst.... poor skills... really make so exhausted.. believe in oneself.. but when the result failed you, what should you do?

Poem-Who am I?

2010-06-20T03:26:00.000-07:00

Who am I

I doubt it

Maybe Im the one in my mind

Or maybe Im just wearing a mask

Or Im just a poeple who have lost his trueness?

I doubt

Yes, The doubt decrease as the day

The second flow

I wonder am I on the road to find back the trueself?

But, I know there is not much time left to

allow me to search for it

I have to get it fast

COuld I believemyself one more time?

@@Busy But Happy@@

2010-06-13T18:55:00.000-07:00

Okay./... last week, i help Ms Sharon to translate the Form1-3 literature in latest syllabus.. though it will be easy.. but it is not.. haha...... but im enjoying doing it... my mom even start to feel weird coz ... errr i actually spend almost my whole week in SUperego tuition centre.... and i say.. its to earn some money!!!

bt some of the reason is to help my teacher and my senior....

we have our activity in saturday..... to talk about analecta and Miss Sharon just organized a game for time.. lol! Enjoying.. although it is quite noisy....

at night, we ate with her.... so full and deliecious... We keep chit chating till 10.00

yesterday, me, ww and jeffy go to a buddhist puja.. haha
at there, there are an altar for the dead baby or abortion.. and i walk there.. half of my body feel cold..XD

after that, we do some fire puja thingy....... den, at night, we eat at pat kin pat san.... eat wif jeff, ww and a special person.. wakkakakbt anyway, thk ww and jeff forr paying the meal for us...^^

Form6.... still enjoying...

2010-06-04T07:57:00.000-07:00

haha.. form6 ... i think im kind of enjoying it.. except the fact that still wearing uniform instead of jeans, black hair instead of dye....

i think i have change alot in form 6.. more on arguing!Especially in MUET... the people, still okay i guess... My PR is better than in secondary school...Bt still having problem in communicating with the 2 loner gang in my class and the bunch of girl who maybe transfer to other school...the girl .. haiya.... today really..zzzz make me kind of beh song.... i want them to stay for sometime so that we can discuss about the MUET...den just answer one of my question..... later.. all gone!!!!!zzz..so i have to do it harder....zzzz。。 so, as the teacher say, we are pre u... i nid to plan for group and where to meet for discussion...nvm nvm ...sabar sabr

i m looking forward for new class after the holiday.i wan air cond!!!!

many homework...zzzzz ...mathastrophe

haiya....my car learn toasted... stupid stupid!!!bt sum1 ask me not to worry, coz nothing to worry, just a process..... ganbateh!!!!!i can i can^^

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i dun wan to think of our future...
i noe ur mind..
and we have to be grateful for this moment

1st week in form 6..

2010-05-15T03:20:00.000-07:00

Orientation of form 5 started on monday.....hehe

i can tell u that its fun... we are entertain by funny counselor....Mr Raja Hazmi.. i im not mistaken.. Im suprise to see so much people there.... some of them are people who I knew....Baq Ying, Lynn, Chee Seong,Jing Lan, Mei Han,Jing Yi, Violet, Steven ,Han Khung and many more...zzzzSo, i am not alone....

so, the highlight???the spontaneous speaking... lolzz..... 2 minute?? and i have to talk about Industri Balak....haiyo................. I want to talk about cancer.. but I just dont have the luck.... 2nd, Im the 1st 1 to talk!!!lolz!!!

so, talk and talk and talk.... balak.. and finally i pass the 2 agonising minutes.

then, we got some ceramah from some teacher.... Pn Fong for physic, Pn Nurul for bio, Pn Asza(if not mistaken) talk about economy and sang us a song...

arrgh man, my stomach pain is killing me.... 2 day oredi lo...... help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

saturday... bored

2010-05-01T07:40:00.000-07:00

so, after waste about 1 gallons of petrol, finally find the place.. Dewan Angsana Hilir.. luckily, we get paid for Rm 100!!!yay...so 1st, thank for jeffy and wei wei for sending me to there..^^den.. we juz chit chat there... after tht, we 1st plan for YC, bt den, Mc D is full... o .. Sheep!!!so, they plan for movie.i cant go coz nid eat things which mom buy.......

Viva Forever Spice Girl

2010-04-20T06:37:00.000-07:00

Viva forever=active forever=living forever...

this song is about 10 years ago, when i was still standard 1.. recently , 1 of my fb pal post it on fb... and it remind me of lots of things... about that day..haha..

so, like the lyric ,viva forever , for the moments... why should i think of tomorow.. tomorow is unpredictable, today im here, tomorow im here.... So, a guy tell me(you all will know 1 day), anything in this world is in your hand.... tomorow... is full with question.. the only thing we can do is by facing it bravely.. there is nothing to afraid as we need to face it.. so instead for fearing it why dont just face it... ?

Mariah Carey feat.Whitney Houston When You Believe　瑪利亞凱莉與維尼休斯屯當你相信歌詞中英對照

2010-04-18T05:19:00.000-07:00

Ｅｖｅｒｙ　ｎｉｇｈｔ　ｗｅ＇ｖｅ　ｐｒａｙ
每晚我們都祈禱

Ｗｉｔｈ　ｎｏ　ｐｒｏｏｆａｎｙｏｎｅ　ｃｏｕｌｄ　ｈｅａｒ
沒有證據顯示任何人能聽得見

Ｉｎ　ｏｕｒ　ｈｅａｒｔｓ　ａ　ｈｏｐｅｆｕｌ　ｓｏｎｇ
在我們的心中都有一首期望之歌

Ｗｅ　ｂａｒｅｌｙ　ｕｎｄｅｒｓｔｏｏｄ
我們都對它瞭解不深

Ｎｏｗ　ｗｅ　ａｒｅ　ｎｏｔ　ａｆｒａｉｄ
現在我們並不害怕

Ａｌｔｈｏｕｇｈ　ｗｅ　ｋｎｏｗ　ｔｈｅｒｅ＇ｓ　ｍｕｃｈ　ｔｏ　ｆｅａｒ
雖然我們知道有很多恐懼

Ｗｅ　ｗｅｒｅ　ｍｏｖｉｎｇ　ｍｏｕｎｔａｉｎｓ　ｌｏｎｇ
我們就好像用了移山需要的時間

Ｂｅｆｏｒｅ　ｗｅ　ｋｎｅｗ　ｗｅ　ｃｏｕｌｄ
才知道我們可以

Ｔｈｅｒｅ　ｃａｎ　ｂｅ　ｍｉｒａｃｌｅｓ，ｗｈｅｎ　ｙｏｕ　ｂｅｌｉｅｖｅ
當你相信，奇跡就會出現

Ｔｈｏｕｇｈ　ｈｏｐｅ　ｉｓ　ｆｒａｉｌ，　ｉｔｓ　ｈａｒｄ　ｔｏ　ｋｉｌｌ
雖然希望是脆弱的，但是它是難以磨滅的

Ｗｈｏ　ｋｎｏｗｓ　ｗｈａｔ　ｍｉｒａｃｌｅｓ　ｙｏｕ　ｃａｎ　ａｃｈｉｖｅｓ
誰知道你能夠創找什麽奇跡

Ｗｈｅｎ　ｙｏｕ　ｂｅｌｉｅｖｅ，　ｓｏｍｅｈｏｗ　ｙｏｕ　ｗｉｌｌ
當你相信，你一定可以

Ｙｏｕ　ｗｉｌｌ　ｗｈｅｎ　ｙｏｕ　ｂｅｌｉｅｖｅ
當你相信你就可以

Ｉｎ　ｔｈｉｓ　ｔｉｍｅ　ｏｆ　ｆｅａｒ
在這個充滿恐懼的時代

Ｗｈｅｎ　ｐｒａｙｅｒｓ　ｓｏ　ｏｆｔｅｎ　ｐｒｏｖｅ（ｓ）　ｉｎ　ｖａｉｎ
當祈禱常常都落空

Ｈｏｐｅ　ｓｅｅｍｓ　ｌｉｋｅ　ｔｈｅ　ｓｕｍｍｅｒ　ｂｉｒｄｓ
希望猶如夏天之鳥

Ｔｏｏ　ｓｗｉｆｔｌｙ　ｆｌｏｗｎ　ａｗａｙ
快速得飛去

Ｙｅｔ　ｎｏｗ　Ｉ＇ｍ　ｓｔａｎｄｉｎｇ　ｈｅｒｅ
但現在我站在這

Ｍｙ　ｈｅａｒｔ　ｓｏ　ｆｕｌｌ　Ｉ　ｃａｎ＇ｔ　ｅｘｐｌａｉｎ
我的心裡充滿感觸，難以解釋

Ｓｅｅｋｉｎｇ　ｆａｉｔｈ
尋找信仰

ａｎｄ　ｓｐｅａｋｉｎｇ　ｗｏｒｄｓ　Ｉ　ｎｅｖｅｒ　ｔｈｏｕｇｈｔ　ｉ＇ｄ　ｓａｙ
和說出一些我未曾料到的話

Ｔｈｅｒｅ　ｃａｎ　ｂｅ　ｍｉｒａｃｌｅｓ，ｗｈｅｎ　ｙｏｕ　ｂｅｌｉｅｖｅ
當你相信時，奇跡就會出現

Ｔｈｏｕｇｈ　ｈｏｐｅ　ｉｓ　ｆｒａｉｌ，　ｉｔｓ　ｈａｒｄ　ｔｏ　ｋｉｌｌ
雖然希望是脆弱的，但是它難以磨滅

Ｗｈｏ　ｋｎｏｗｓ　ｗｈａｔ　ｍｉｒａｃｌｅｓ　ｙｏｕ　ｃａｎ　ａｃｈｉｅｖｅ
雖知道你能創造什麽奇跡

Ｗｈｅｎ　ｙｏｕ　ｂｅｌｉｅｖｅ，ｓｏｍｅｈｏｗ　ｙｏｕ　ｗｉｌｌ
當你相信時，你一定可以

Ｔｈｅｙ　ｄｏｎ＇ｔ　（ａｌｗａｙｓ　ｈａｐｐｅｎ）ｗｈｅｎ　ｙｏｕ　ａｓｋ
它們是不會常常如願以償

Ａｎｄ　ｉｔｓ　ｅａｓｙ　ｔｏ　ｇｉｖｅ　ｉｎｔｏ　ｙｏｕｒ　ｆｅａｒｓ
也會常常墜入恐懼

Ｂｕｔ　ｗｈｅｎ　ｙｏｕ　ａｒｅ　ｂｌｉｎｄｅｄ　ｂｙ　ｙｏｕｒ　ｐａｉｎ
但當你被痛楚蒙著視線

Ｃａｎ＇ｔ　ｓｅｅ　ｙｏｕｒ　ｗａｙ　ｓｔｒａｉｇｈｔ　ｔｈｒｏｕｇｈ　ｔｈｅ　ｒａｉｎ
在雨中看不見眼前的路

（ａ　ｓｍａｌｌ　ｂｕｔ）　ｒｅｓｉｌｉｅｎｔ　ｖｏｉｃｅ
但是有一股小但清晰的聲音

Ｓａｙｓ　（ｈｏｐｅ　ｉｓ　ｖｅｒｙ　ｎｅａｒ）
說希望是很近的

Ｔｈｅｒｅ　ｃａｎ　ｂｅ　ｍｉｒａｃｌｅｓ（ｍｉｒａｃｌｅｓ），ｗｈｅｎ　ｙｏｕ　ｂｅｌｉｅｖｅ（Ｌｏｒｄ，　ｗｈｅｎ　ｙｏｕ　ｂｅｌｉｅｖｅ）
當你相信時，奇跡就會出現（上天，當你相信）

Ｔｈｏｕｇｈ　ｈｏｐｅ　ｉｓ　ｆｒａｉｌ，ｉｔｓ　ｈａｒｄ　ｔｏ　ｋｉｌｌ
雖然希望是脆弱的，但是它難以磨滅

Ｗｈｏ　ｋｎｏｗｓ　ｗｈａｔ　ｍｉｒａｃｌｅｓ　ｙｏｕ　ｃａｎ　ａｃｈｉｅｖｅｓ
誰知道你呢個創造什麽奇跡

Ｗｈｅｎ　ｙｏｕ　ｂｅｌｉｅｖｅ，　ｓｏｍｅｈｏｗ　ｙｏｕ　ｗｉｌｌ　ｓｏｍｅｈｏｗ　Ｘ３
當你相信，你一定可以

Ｓｏｍｅｈｏｗ　ｙｏｕ　ｗｉｌｌ
你一定可以

Ｙｏｕ　ｗｉｌｌ　ｗｈｅｎ　ｙｏｕ　ｂｅｌｉｅｖｅ
當你相信你就可以

Ｙｏｕ　ｗｉｌｌ　ｗｈｅｎ　ｙｏｕ，ｙｏｕ　ｗｉｌｌ　ｗｈｅｎ　ｙｏｕ　ｂｅｌｉｅｖｅ
當你相信就可以了

Ｊｕｓｔ　ｂｅｌｉｅｖｅ　ｉｎ　ｙｏｕｒ　ｈｅａｒｔ
就相信你的心

Ｊｕｓｔ　ｂｅｌｉｅｖｅ
就相信你的心

Ｙｏｕ　ｗｉｌｌ　ｗｈｅｎ　ｙｏｕ　ｂｅｌｉｅｖｅ
當你相信你就可以

　

Savage Garden To the moon and back lyrics with chinese translation野人花園-來回月球的中英歌詞對照

2010-04-17T05:27:00.000-07:00

She's taking her time, making up the reason,to justify all the hurt inside
她正在使用自己的時間，來分析自己心裡的創傷

guess she know, from the smiles and the looks in their eyes
（我）猜她從他們的微笑和眼神知道

Everyone got a theory about the bitter one
每個人對她的痛苦經歷都有一套說法

They're saying, mama never love her much, daddy never keep in touch
他們說，媽媽不寵愛她，爸爸不與她聯絡

Thats why she shies away from human affection
所以這就是爲什麽她總是躲避避人與人之間的交流

But somewhere in a private place,She packs her bags for outer space
但是在一個秘密的地方，她正爲了去外太空而準備行李

And now she is waiting for a right kind of pilot to come
現在，她正等待一位合適的航空員，

(and she'll say to him)
(她會對他說)

She saying
她說

I would fly you to the moon and back, if you be, if you be my baby
假如你成為我的寶貝（愛人），我會帶你來回月球。

Got a ticket for a world where we belong
(我)有一張去我們所屬世界的機票

So,would you be my baby?
所以，你會成為我的愛人嗎？

She cant remember a time,when she felt needed
她不能想起，自己何時是被需要的

If love was red then se was colourblind
假如愛是紅色，她就是色盲的

All her friends they've tried for treason, and crimes that were never defined
她的朋友已經嘗試過背叛，還有許多不計其數/不可定義的罪過

She's saying
她說

Love is like a barren place
愛情好像一個荒地

and reaching out for human faith is like a journey I just don't have a map for
人類之間的信任是我一段沒有地圖的旅途

So baby gonna take a dive and push the shift to overdrive
所以寶貝啊， (我)將會沉溺其中，再按鍵盤上的轉變鍵(做出改變)以讓它變得更加誇張

Send a signal that she's hanging all her hopes on the stars
發出她把希望都寄託在繁星的訊息

(What a pleasant dream) just saying
(多么美的夢)便說道

I would fly you to the moon and back, if you'll be,if you'll be my baby
假如你成為我的愛人，我會帶你來回月球

Got a ticket to the world that we belong
(我)有一張去所屬世界的機票

So,would you be my baby?
所以，你會做我的愛人嗎?

Mama never loved her much, and daddy never keep in touch
媽媽不寵愛她，爸爸不與她聯絡

That's why she shies away from human affectiom.
所以這就是爲什麽她總是躲避人與人之間的交流

But somewhere in a private place, she packed her bag for outerspace
但是在一個秘密的地方，她正爲了去外太空而準備行李

And now she's waiting for a right kind of pilot to come
現在，她正等待一位合適的航空員

(and she'll say to him)She's saying
(她會對他說)她說

-I would like to fly you to the moon and back if you'll be , if you'll be my baby
假如你成為我的愛人，我會帶你來回月球

Got a ticket to the world where we belong
(我)有一張去所屬世界的機票

So, would you be my baby?-X2
所以，你會成為我的愛人嗎？

this week

2010-04-17T00:45:00.000-07:00

Pass undang ...uhuhuhuuh.... tomolo gonna go for th 6 hour course...ok la ok lah......

that day when i sit for undang exam, actually i was shocked,why?because there is only me... first, type in i/c number, den choose orang awam....1st 8 question... colourblind test...... ''pass''.then, there is the plate..... errr... i wonder why these question exist... i mean even a 1 years old can read the number plat... and... huh.... still wondering..

next.... ta da... the 50 question... actually i have many question use tikam..haiya..everyday only read bout half hour... den last minute reading at wednesday night..get 44... okaylah....

so, yesterday, friday.... still same, facebook, house chores.. then, at 4.20, i get a phone call, asking me to assist my x tution centre for teaching komsas as the teacher have somthings to do...Luckily is form 2... so, i went there and prepare for about an hour..... pantun dan puisi..huh.....then, Lor huai asked me whether can help her in her chinese making sentences or not... wao...making sentences with chinese proverb... its a good way to sprain my brain..

6 o clock.. go back home 1st..... fold the clothes, wash my face, then go for fried rice take away.. tambah nasi, tambah mata kerbau(not really the bull eyes, but fried egg)....its 7.30...i began to ate like a maniac... tomato sauce is added into the fried rice in an insane way..huh..7.50.reach there..go in classroom, then all the student like dont want go in....just like us last time.. time dragging...

there is about 15 students in that class..huh... nervous at 1st..

at 1st.. they really like doing there own thing.. but i mangae to attract them back to class....

Jason and Lor Huai is spying out there.. telling me that i looked calm in it.. but im not... im like ..nervous.. but then ok...

9.45 i left after meeting Miss Sharon....

then, received message from Andy, he just back from work, so he bring me out go eat... We ate at pasar malam ...at Leisure mall... on the way, he sang and sang... Wow, he is an X choir member..

after that , go to his house, I a at there till 12.35, before he send me back..

when i reach home, i saw something funny, my brother is forcing his dear to drink the medicine.. haha .. funny.. it take her about half hour to finish the small bowl of med..haha... and her expression... huh.......

finally, i slep at 2.30 am after watching some wacky video on facebook......^^_

May all the living beings is happy, healthy and free from distraction and stress..

Bye Bye

JingWei come back from surgery already

2010-04-11T08:41:00.000-07:00

huh.. jing wei come back from surgery... now he is in Penang now....he say he is okay now...but still dunno yet... dunno when he will be in kl.. c hows my bother going on..

2day, go back segamat.. so tired arrgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!wake up at 4 am.. bt still gt sumthing good though..less people,nid study for undang.....ganbateh..so.. 2molo wan jogging.. gt abit plump already +++constipation is back.sum exercise is needed!!!!!!!!!!!!

Life is fragile.

2010-04-07T02:12:00.000-07:00

Sunday morning, I have a feeling, to sms my godbrother--Alvin..We both knew each other i Kem Sungai Rait Miri.. Just to ask about whats going on lately..But what I get is another shocking news..He say that after some body checkup, the doctor found out that there is a tumour(maybe) or thing,grow in his head...I was like... what?Guys, he is just 17.. Well. latest news, told by his mom, today , is that he is now overseas , going with his uncle..for surgery..He is one of my best friend in Kem(beside Kenny and Xiang Cheng).. and now he is ... uhh.. Im really worry.. for him.. Hope everything is alright.. At least he is my brother..
弟弟，加油哦！
brother,ganbateh..

Yesterday night, I was chatting with one of my friend, Ryan.. i realised something weird , why he say he gone through 1st therapy today at facebook?Chemo and Radio.... Then i asked him... its Non Hodgkin Lymphoma....At first i dont know what is it, so, wikipedia!!!
Then , i was shocked further.. he is undergoing the treatment...omb....(err..Oh my Buddha!)He say to me that he felt lucky, he found 2 person that matter the most this year..First, me as a friend, and another person as a lover... This morning, he tell me, if anything happen to him, I am the 1 who he entrusted to take care of his partner..What i reply him is.. Just Dont give up the war!!!Or i will slap you.. JUst to make the enviroment easier.. Actually Im touched at that time...
Hey brother.. I will be at your back.. DO your best..kay?

___________________________________________________________________

I take refuge to the Buddhas of ten direction, and of three period of time
I take refuge to the Dharmas of ten direction,and of three period of time
I take refuge to the Sanghas of ten directiom,and of three period of time

With sincerity, with compassion, with loving kindness and devotion, I pray to the great teacher, Shakyamuni Buddha, Amitabha Buddha and BhaisajyeGuruBuddha and countless buddhas since the start of time.

With sincerity, with compassion, with loving kindness and devotion, I pray to the great saviour,
Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva, Cundi Bodhisattva,Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva and other countless Bodhisattva since the start of time.

To lessen the pain of my friends , who suffered of diseases
To help them in these period of pain..
To purify their karma
To help them fight the diseases
To always keep their heart happy

May my prayer be fullfilled.
Om Mani Padme hum
Namo Saptanam Samyaksam Buddha Kotinam Tadyata Om Cale Cule Cundi Svaha

Shocking!!

2010-04-04T06:00:00.000-07:00

so, today, is sunday,.. so normally, i give myself moretime to sleep, especially yesterday i go out for so long..relax.. ya..suddenly, my mom asking me to get up...okay lo.. wash clothes.. then mom received a phone call from my cousin..

Cousin:Aunty, where is uncle?
Mom:Still sleeping..why?
Cousin:We all are in segamat, in the cemetery, we are waiting for him, is he coming?
Mom:What, Soon , ask your father about it!
Me:Daddy, today is the day for paying respect to ancestor.. you dont know?
Daddy:No 1 tell me...
Me:Mom, he also dunno..
Mom:Yen Ming ar,We all dont know wo..
Cousin:Nvm..

Wao..shocking ... no 1 in segamat tell us that today is the day selected to respect the dead.. i guess they forget about us..huh..My father tell me that next week ww will go back to segamat..
my brother and my mom are making tonne of hypothesis.. saying that all want to boikot my father....i also dont know ..dont want think too much....only waste of time..

so, my mom bought nasi lemak for me... then, we go out for hair cutting.. i have some repair on my hair style..im waiting for the day that i could play with gel and wax again...then we buy paint for my new room...took us about 5 hour to finish the job...my neck is like..breaking ?

we choose a llight blue colour nicknamed beautiful moment.. the effect is just astounding.. still got about 60%left.. so tomorow, i will continue with my current sleeping room.. so..ganbateh..planning to jog tomorow morning..p/s i am starting to addicted to jogging...

this whole day i was listen to Sa Ding DIng song.. her song is just refreshing and calming... love her song!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Outing with friend... at midvalley

2010-04-03T09:12:00.000-07:00

huh.. go midvalley megamall just now, with a friend..Takumi a.k.a Ah Chan... we reach there at about 5.00pm.. chat along the journey..we talk about lots of things..mney, life, how to do things.. man, this guy is like a big encyclopedia.. i learn much from it.. we both like reading..thts the point.. and he was trying his best in learning chinese...

he pay for all of the ''journey'' =.='' including the meal.. the ticket and the bread..thx very much... enjoy much.. coz very relax.. we even go to tibetan tzi beads store and lilian too stall...both have same interest..maybe.. bt sumhow, i think i talked too much... just enjoy talking too him..(maybe no 1 to talk to since in PLKN?)haha.. dunno la... just very relax...

the song that make me addicted..

2010-03-31T01:10:00.000-07:00

juz bored..

2010-03-29T06:00:00.001-07:00

Jin liang, Kee wui, Kin chong and ken mun had gone to ns oredi..good lucks guys..

last sundy is hari anugerah a.k.a prize giving day... and it is accompanied by PIBG(parent and teacher committee) meetings.....it is damn bored for my parent who come juz for the hari anugerah..luckily Pn Hor help us... let all the lucky ones to wait in 4SC1..we got chance to chat together..wahahha!!!

then, its time for getting prize....huhuh...what a long speech..but wait... does our school have any 11A?No, and our dear headmistress say that we have... and its 2 of them.. so, my friends and I wonders ....who are they?who are the phantom members?uhhh...sees like our headmistress is missing up or she is lying..... huhuh..dosa nih..

now, my mom is plannning to clean up the store room, so that it can be my study room and sleeping room....huh..much things to throw...i just found out that my house is full with glassware...cups and some tonne of plate....and 1 more cupboard to get rid of...

now i really dont know what to do.. bored maybe...im waiting for you, form 6...

Wish you both will have a blossoming love story

2010-03-24T23:50:00.000-07:00

Lets see, the character of this beautiful love story is the boy, Kenny Yap Hock Yeow(DOB 29th April)and Wong Kiew Ying(DOB 30 December)..Its a taurus vs Capricon..both of them meet in Kem PLKN Miri ,Sarawak Siri 1 7/2010...

From friend to love..actually I witness all of it..... From how they know each other, how they meet, then how he help her in dealing with her .....sucks Xbf.. and how they start to help each other, sharing feelings and things.. laughing, crying, playing together...

wakaka, Here u get the wishes form Low Yen Soom.... Love forever.... Nor shall anything snatch the love from you both...
Just make a poem for you both

Just like the stars that shine on the sky,
Just like the diamonds which sparks with light,
The love of you two shines,
Even the sun is no match of the glares

Just like the expanding universe
or the eternal time
Deeply prayed,may the love of you two
is equal to the eternal wish

Wishing both of you
quarelless,fightless,and happiness
timeless.....
the wish is sincere, from the core of our heart..

Self Reflection

2010-03-19T02:01:00.000-07:00

A mirror , is the tool for reflection
What I see from others, is a reflection of myself..
What is true and what is false
Its not in my hand or at yours.

Could I believe in what i do?
Or Should I believe in what I ought?
You have to believe to do it well.
Trust is the hardest thing for you to do.

The war never ends, just like the water pouring into the sea.
Could I forget it, or make no sense with it?
You can try to chnge it.If couldn't,
You should be doing what you should

It is the hardest things, like going to the moon
Just to believe in myself..
Human had gone to the moon,
Just learn to have faith in oneself.

Preoccupation comes along,
Happiness is in the edge of the world
Everything could be alright.
Its your mind which make it worst.

Its hard for hope, negative is on the way of confirmation
Its hard to think, for when the good will follow.
Human live for hope,Hoping is a fuel
For you to move forward...

There is nothing I can cling
There is nothing that worth
It is always there, learn to accept it
Use it to create your own Rome..

You create your own road
You plant the seeds
You get the fruit.

Learn to have faith in yourself
Learn to be optimistic
Learn to smile

NS at Kem Miri..Part2

2010-03-13T16:24:00.000-08:00

NS, is a real place for observing and knowing people's personalities..

For those who go ns, prepare yourself for a tiring, yet useful experience..There, you can meet lots of people.. People who are real friends, who are backstabber, who are faking jerk and much more.

Logically, it is true, I mean, when you put 200odds people live in a same place, but with different background, lots of things will happen. Im still consider as a lucky 1 as i have lots of good friend that support my back.....

I get elected a Ketua Bilik of L9A juz because I help them send the clothes to Dobi...Oh yeah, things to said , pleae dont depends on dobi fully, i have experience of delayed clothes, even lost my clothes due to dobi....,so, guys, please take note, it will be better for you to wash your own clothes.p/s The clothes smell sucks if it is washed by dobi...

Then, we are introduced to our trainer.... Mr Simon, he is a good teacher ...teach us marching and lots more.although he can get angry at times...

During the 3rd week of PLKn, we have to take the photo.. and guess what, i get fever that day..
I just force myself to take the picture with full celoreng.... guess what, my fever subsided after the photo shoot... wao!

My friends always be at my side all the day...They all have the same comment.. This people is too kind hearted.. Izzit?Dont Know...I just do my best to help people around me...

1st saturday... first time that i get my handphone, the 1st thing that i see is... 10 miss call..all from my mummy.. aiya..that day when i heard her voice..my tears start rolling down..hahha!!
People do help me alot.. Special thk to Kenny , Tie, Alvin and many more...

The worst things that happen to me is Herpes Zoaster Infection.1st, i get extreme headache for a week, then , i get rashes which iving out plasma from my forehead.. all the people in the camp is like gazing at me with a shocking expresson..Even jurulatih was shocked...Then, i go to the medic, they just give me paracetamol and benovate cream...and ask me go back after 2 day...
i have to endure the pain at the shooting range, as i want to use M-16....that night, I went to medic yet again...they ask me to go clinic at the next day... When i go into the clinic, there are about 80% of people staring at me..The doctor say that it is too late for her to give injection... As my body already fight back...p/s Herpes Zoaster is a fatal disease, it will take ma person life..I consider myself lucky that i survive..... Then, evn got people backstabbed me, saying that I am 活該。。or i deserve to have it.. as i talk too much on horoscope.....huhuh....

the second position that i held is the Monitor of Buddhist class, thanks for kenny to raise my hand.. ''damn it'' ...its fun in the class,...we learn meditations..we play together..haha!!

hmm, there r more parts awaits..

Back from ns

2010-03-10T21:15:00.000-08:00

such a wonderful experience, how many friend i met, my company Delta, my M 16, marching, Morning call.. i will miss u all, my friend,,,

1st day
when i reach bkt jalil, its was like..wao, so many ppl!!!the 1st guy 1 saw, i feel like..this guy is so cocky tht i want to punch him... my mom and dad chat wif his family... who knows tht the guy tht i wan to punch become my best friendin PLKN?yep, im talking abt u, Kenny Yap Hock Yeow.. still remember he have to go back as PLKN make mistake, and he reach Kem Miri at midnight..hahah!!

when i reach the kem, i was like blur..arrgh!! hot and... i go up to my rooom, and i was the 1st 1 in it.bath inside the unlockable toilet, going up and down for 10 times just to get wat5er and info... then came sum new ppl from limbang..Ah Chai

we r like bored during the 1stweek, the first week, ppl seems good.. but they change lots after tht.. one of my pal, Kent, had began to show his true face...he is a 'player' and his mouth hurts lots of people....

we take our clothes at the 3rd of jan... my first PT ....Syok!

then, i noe my company... we make the flag of tortoise... for delta..... for kkj..though we lose the 1st challenge, but we still fight till the end..

We win the sport challenge .... and problemn start to arise..due to our ketua company.. he make all of us mad at him.. evry morning he is the last 1 to wake up... his attitude and irresponsibility make us all gila... luckily we still have Alyssha , penolong ketua company.. if nt, delta might be the last..

then, we get no 3 in merentas desa..and no 1 in kembara halangan...so eppy....

supernatural experience.. alot, but most of them cause by man made black magic, causing some of my friend sickness and pain, but we manage to overcome it....tis 1 i cant talk much.....still gtmuch to write, just left it for the other part...

Friends

2010-01-01T02:49:00.000-08:00

get 'forced' by jeff..joking..to do this post..wakaka..

Yik Pin a.k.a hypotenuse or zombie

He is doing his best in his studies, althoguh we kow that he is one of the busiest person in SMKPI.Its lucky to have a friend like him.He helps you do the worst thing a student want to do..Sending the homework to teacher..Thank you...I hope that he can get a nice SPM result...
Well, u know, this guy is really my best friend since standard 5.... We both can start our ''alien joke' session for whole day..
p/s Brother... ganbateh!

Jeff a.k.a Hamster or porcupine
Well, this guy surely is where an aquarius pour his bittergourd's juice.He surely know how to listen to your pain and help you through those painful moment.I always admire his optimistism and his might.. haha.He and ww really..err make some people jealous..haha..As Mei Hui say, they both are siamese twins.
p/s Hamster gogogo!!!

Mei hui a.k.a milkgirl or Tackey's wife
Well, this cute girl did make some funny joke among us..She is the philosophy girl in the class,she do have interesting view in philosophy.Haha..although we both may argue in these question.. But some how, we achieve balance in it.. She recently become a fanatic in Sherlicks Holmes and Tackey..Lol!

p/sDrink more milk!

Ariff a.k.a Badak Cute
Firstly, wish you good luck in slimming..Do not overdone it..This optimistic clown of the class never fail to entertain us...I will miss your joke and laugh...wakaka...He is the best head prefect we ever have. Trust me, no one will forget you..Ariff Erzanie!oh yeah!reember to remind me , when you find your super ong wife!

p/s.Do your best , okay？

Crystal a.k.a ..dunno
This girl create a new term.We have AMS a.k.a after menstrual syndrom.She can change 180 degrees when she have her PMS..DO not talk, looks cocky.When she have AMS, she will bully any1 that she see, well honestly, Mei Hui is the main target.She seems like she have do the revision by hook or by crook.. wahaha..

p/s. Which type of crystal are u?

Memoirs of 2009/Opening of 2010

2009-12-31T19:40:00.000-08:00

wahahaha..its 1st of Jan..Well, just now Im literally shocked by Mei Hui..girl, your blog is 'flooded by words'..

Well, last year is just a year of suprises and tears..It changed me a lot.I will still continue to change myself to a better 1.Last year, I learn how to tolerate with my past, with my fears and with my family.Well, as they say,'Twilight will past as the sunrise, when the dawn break, a new beginning will fall...I m hoping the best to come in the next year.

Last year, I have to face myself often.Believe it or not, it is the hardest things to do.. I have to admit that Im an escapist before.So, thats why I cry a lot this year.I mean, tears sometimes is a soul healing mechanisms.Its help you excrete the pain and renewing your soul at the same time.

I mean aquarius is weaker than you think, although some might think that we looks strong outside.Its just a diamond wall that we bult to protect our glass soul.

What should i say, i need to thank all my friends, enemy, backstabber !!!

I didnt go to my primary school reunion, as i dont want to see some of the people there.. Sometimes, its easy to forgive, but its hard to forget!
(p/s)Yen Soom,, gogogo

Last year is a year of enlightment... I could see things n a clearer prospective now.Maybe i learn to see in a new angle. Well, its pain to face it, but it bring growth.

Now, i need to thank all my friend..
1 for supporting me
2 for helping me
3 for listening to my craps
4 for the days of laughing
5 for the work that we done

thks to the teacher
1 for helping us
2 for giving us a time to relax
3 for guilding us
4 for mocking us
5 for making jokes at us.

Wishes for new year
1I will be the best of me
2 My family will be batter
3 i will be braver
4 the world will be peace, less disasterous
5 No more terrorist attack that kill innocent people

8 days before NS

2009-12-25T04:11:00.000-08:00

wao, RM384 is used only for the money tht i nid to use at sarawak, items, etc..wao.. its deafening..

well, now really feel nothing, or im just too weird....

maybe im just prepare for it..

my mom gone abit, you know, hiperbolic.
she buy panadol, flu med, sore throat med , plaster, tiger balm.. and even herbal tea!
well, i accept it, it is still, a way of mother take care of her son. As you know, a son is always a son in the eyes of the parents.

i have prepare 2 pairs of tracks bottom, 1 jackets..i will also kept my hair to cut at there..wahaha.. as a way to cut down cost.

oh yeah, did you guys go back to scholl to see the coco marks?

,,,,,,,

2009-12-20T01:19:00.000-08:00

how do i be happy, i ask this question again and again.

i just really cant go along with my friends...

seems like i have no interest with all the things around me...

or im just thinking too much.......

u all can enjoy life to the fullest, but i just cant...

i cant be happy for more than 1 day, problem is sure to follow...

or maybe im too childish?thinking of all these things?

or just be said that LowYenSoom=Depression?

sometime, no matter what u all say, i will still cant believe in myself... or i should say that i think im stupid in real life.. i cant be like u alll...

or this is the lesson that i should learn?

....

2009-12-10T06:24:00.000-08:00

just now eat steamboat with my parents.. yup three person only.... RM 51... ..

well, cold war kind of ended....well...huhuh...

i felt more clamer than before and feel grateful indeed.. as my prayer are becoming true.. haha..

i just want to thk my friend for their support all thetimes.You now, without you all, I cant be here, i cant go through these all alone..
just now, when eating, i have a sudden feeling of cry..Dont know why...A natural feeling?dont know.. this is me.. well, i have a weird emotion... when i am happy, there will be a sad feeling...

well, seems like the chanting of mantra is helping me alots..

i become less nervous at exam.. become happier...huhuh...

lets pray for the world!!!

Huh.....

2009-12-09T04:30:00.000-08:00

Im tired..mentally..... Yiah, lets give some claps to my friend who have ended their nightmare or maybe their 'Super Personal Matter'

well, as you know, I still have my chinese paper... uhh... It just freak me out!

Now, im still waiting for my PLKN letter.. help!!!

Huhhh.. as i think back, am I too cruel? I always went out earlyduring the exam.. Well, i have a confession to make... I just want to left the hell earlier..So, if any hurt done, please forgive me....

Ariff, you changed your blog url, signifying a new start?

WELL, these days, i have three more new friends..
1.。Sean
2. Long a.k.a Tom
3 .國明

well, they say that im a nice people.. but i really doubt it somehow...
AM I?

maybe im a greedy person, i think that what i do is not enough at times, or maybe i just dont have the strength to do it...

or maybe i should give myself some confidence?

well, next year will be my whole new experince.. tonne of 1st time..
1 1st airplane trip
2 1st time to Sarawak
3 1st time celebrate CNY at Sarawak
4 1st time celebrate my birthday at Sarawak

well, may all of us will have something good and suprisinng awaits!

。。。。。

2009-12-01T00:23:00.000-08:00

昨天，美慧的一句話，有點醒了我。。。她這個人，就是能赤裸裸的把別人的心事看出。。真有她的。。佩服佩服。。

她說得對，我是一個不會與別人互動，也懶得交際的人。。也就因為我不會，但我想，假如我要實現我的夢想，還有繼續活下去的話，必須學學啦！！所以，去沙拉越實行國民服務，或許是一個讓我拆掉我的圍牆的方法。。。

還有，我還要向美璇說對不起。。因為她的物理我實在幫不了忙。。。我自己也已自身難保。。。她嘛。。。唯有為她祈福，讓她考試時別緊張吧。。。大家也是。。。儘量放鬆。。。

最近，又想了很多。。哎呀，我幾時想的不多呢？

有人問我，爲什麽拍照時不笑？

美璇和國明都問。。。

我只好說，我笑起來，覺得自己很假，拍照時笑，拍來拍去都不好看。。

連畢業典禮的笑，都是硬擠的。。。對不起，我真的不會笑啊！！！不是不會，只是笑起來很難看。。。

昨天，老爸又向母親借了50塊。。哎呀。。。昨天好彩老媽心情好，不然又要下大風雪了。。她也只是嚷嚷幾句，我昨天睡得早，但睡不下，因為突然有一點頭痛。。。

昨天的生物學，確實有點難。。。但是，過了。。。還有什麽好提的呢？

明天益斌生日，朋友們，記得祝福啊！

物理還是有點擔心。。

尤其是那幾課電的。。。

看到Jeff現在這樣，確實有點羡慕。。。但啊我自己好像不值得別人愛吧。。因為一個對自己沒自信的人，是不會相信別人的，也不會有資格去愛人，或者被人愛。。。

慢慢的，我從那些創傷走了出來。。。它們的魔爪，依然伸過來，也許，慢慢面對。它們就會被打敗吧！

學會相信，或許會很難做到
而我之前選擇逃避，失去了，蠻多的。。。

還真是期望，父母能夠繼續融洽相處吧。。。
他家能夠開開心心。。。或者平平淡淡，就够了。。我不奢侈，這也許是我對他們的期望吧。。。

我哥與他女友的關繫在上兩個星期公開了

祝福他們。。。

呼呼。。現在真的要學溝通這門學問了。。。
這個沒有書的學問。。。可難倒我咯！
假如明年順利升上中六，那我可要打工了。。。
突然，有個問題想問你們，你們覺得我是怎樣的一個人呢？？
可以留言在c-box哦

哎呀！現在又有一點頭痛了！！

我習慣了孤單，但已經對它厭惡
我無法拋開理智，因為它是我的保護罩
我不要在害羞
我要有自信
我要更勇敢
我要更堅強！

Im a aquarius pisces cusp

2009-11-30T04:09:00.000-08:00

Aquarius is the 11th sign of the Zodiac. Aquarians are humanitarians and philanthropists, the visionaries of the zodiac. Aquarians value friendship and often have many acquaintances in addition to their close friends. Pisces is the 12th and final sign of the Zodiac. All that is learned by the first 11 signs comes together to help Pisces reach the pinnacle of their potential. Aquarius/Pisces are selfless and spiritual, often strongly intuitive and receptive to the collective unconscious.

The astrological symbol of Aquarius is the Water Bearer. The astrological symbol of Pisces is the Pair of Fish. Those born on the Aquarius/Pisces cusp reflect the dual nature of life, reality and nonreality, consciousness and the unconscious. They represent consciousness through the flowing of ideas. They work hard to bring their ideas to fruition, stubbornly refusing to give up their causes. In this way, the Fixed Quality of Aquarius is the Fixed exemplified. However, the Mutable Quality of Pisces shows itself equally by deeming these individuals as people without a strong agenda; they tend to go with the flow and move where life takes them. They are peace loving and friendly, and are the chameleons of the Zodiac, receptive to the needs of others but sometimes getting lost themselves.

Aquarius is ruled by the planets Uranus and Saturn. In ancient Roman mythology, Saturn (and his Greek equivalent, Cronus) was the father of many gods, including Zeus. Uranus, the oldest god, was associated with Earth. When the planet Uranus was discovered, astrologers assigned it as the modern ruler of Aquarius. It is from this planet that Aquarians receive their visionary nature. Uranus is associated with progress and technology -- anything that is radical -- and it rules electricity and astrology.

Pisces is ruled by the planets Jupiter and Neptune. In ancient Roman mythology, Jupiter (and his Greek equivalent, Zeus) was the king of the gods. Neptune (and his Greek equivalent, Poseidon) was the god of the sea. When the planet Neptune was discovered, modern astrologers assigned it to be the ruler of Pisces. Neptune is about everything that isn't quite real: illusion and disillusionment, fantasy, drama and art, and spirituality. All of these are important to those born under Pisces. Aquarius/Pisces tend to be strongly spiritual (not necessarily religious) and artistic. They are idealistic, but sometimes their dreams are vague and impractical. When reality intrudes, they can become pessimistic or lethargic, but they are very adaptive and broad-minded, so they can rework their ideals when necessary.

The element associated with Aquarius is Air. Air Signs are intellectual, and they tend to respond to the world through intellect, rather than physical action or practicality. The element associated with Pisces is Water. Because Water Signs are emotional, they tend to respond to the world through emotion. Aquarius/Pisces are tolerant and open-minded, but tend to stick to their beliefs. They are compassionate, sensitive, imaginative and sympathetic to the feelings of others. They tend to be romantic and sentimental, but they may give in to escapism. They are devoted to their goals, but they can be disorganized or procrastinate when faced with difficulties. Their intellect makes them logical and self-confident, but it may also makes them aloof from people around them. They are original, offbeat and even eccentric, but they are also rather bored by detail. Reformist and experimental, Aquarius/Pisces may seem cold toward people who don't share their intellectual orientation to life. Those born on the Aquarius/Pisces cusp may become timid if their emotions are abused too often.

Aquarius/Pisces are often multitalented, both in scientific and creative endeavors. They are unique and rebellious people who are driven to change the world. However, they can be shy, quiet and sometimes elusive, refusing to show their true selves. They are modest and thoughtful, sometimes displaying remarkable musical talent. Their freedom is important to them, and they are often driven to help others become free, as well

The great strength of the Aquarius/Pisces is in their visionary nature and their compassion. They are the people who take the world to the next level; they make others see things in a new light. Their ability to break the rules and help others reach their fullest potential makes them one of the most understanding characters of the zodiac.

Memoirs Of SPM(part1?)

2009-11-25T04:47:00.000-08:00

BM
paper 1.... i am grateful that i got the topic that i like
paper2..... Oh no

BI
paper 1..Beauty...
paper2..uhh....'fast breathing'

Sejarah
paper1.... Easy
paper2..... Help!

Math
paper... good

Est
The friction... arrgh,,

Add math
Im blurred!!!

Im....

2009-11-20T20:53:00.000-08:00

I want to have more self esteem and self confident!

I want to succes in my life!

I want to help more people!

bye bye Bm, bye bye history..

so 3 weeks left, guys?? girls??

Aquarius song again

2009-11-09T15:00:00.000-08:00

Aquarius..Song by陳曉東

2009-11-07T22:54:00.000-08:00

i like the melody and lyrics

2009-10-31T19:33:00.000-07:00

Graduation day

2009-10-30T23:05:00.000-07:00

Really tired..... just now back I didn't tell you all.. Sorry, don't want affect your all's mood.. coz me headache during the time of the beginning of the feast.. really want to sleep...

today very suprise indeed

1st is WW... really shocked me. Jeff and him really compatible... even have flower, really touching...wondering whether some1 can do the same for me... but i know it is impossible...haha!!

then , take picture time.... they all ask me to smile, but honestly, i think i smile... but you all say i didn't ....@@ maybe i forget how to smile.....

they all looks smart today.... But me , I cant be sure...

take picture with Puan Hor, Pn Nor Hasbi and Datin Rohayah.....

then , I saw a girl from PP2, wear 5 inches heel plus a pant higher than knee, Don't know how she get in....

Jeff looks good in his vest and bow tie... Hope you and WW love can last forever!!opps, it is not can, is must!

feel awkward when the formal ceremony ended...when the photograph session i also dunno want to do what.... maybe Im an alien..... or maybe im tired.... Blur blur...

now still left RM 16 in my wallet... and i think i need to use that until finish SPM..... my father lost his job...Now my mom need to pay all the fees again... I just don't want to cause them more trouble...

guys!!!!

and

girls!!!

remember to post the pic you take today at blog, facebook or maybe frienster..

now, the important things again, SPM!!

My bm ar....

still nids lot of pumping...

and need to help my 'brother' also..... Jun Houng

he also need help in his bm bi and sejarah... i will do as much as i can..

haha, need do housework oredi... the floor is dirty, my shoes.... so bye bye..

i like this 2 old song....

2009-10-23T20:21:00.000-07:00

One night in beijing

jungle in norway

I want to cry, but does it help?

2009-10-17T23:00:00.000-07:00

你知道你們真的很自私嗎？我不會給你們看到我傷心，我為你們著想，你們給我的是冷戰，可惜我是水瓶座，我永遠學不會去恨人。。。

鬆了很多。。relaxed so much

2009-10-16T07:12:00.000-07:00

最近我考試，好像也沒讀書了，只是隨邊翻翻，現在擔心的，也只有國語了。。馬來語。。

也許看清楚了吧。。。有些事情，是不用想太多的，就像憶雯講的，我真的想太多了。。

我父親又失業了。。他可能做得不開心了。。說錢不夠用，說沒錢，說遲出工錢。。。

我真的愣住了。。。。他幾歲了？

難道還要計較這些嗎？

昨天，我睡得很早，不是因為我累，而是我覺得，應該逃避一下吧，冷戰又發。我也得祝福我哥了

他有了女友，打簡訊時笑得像得到天堂似地。。但是他還不要公開。。可是嘛，誰叫他有個那麼聰明的媽媽呢？我們也不要搓破他的秘密。。他要公開，他會的。。不知誰家的女孩那麼幸運。。。愛上巨蟹座的極品好老公。。。。

而我的幹哥哥，駱爾恒。。也在昨天，問了我許多問題，暗示要和我開始關係。。。可是，我知道我會傷害了他，所以，拒絕了他。。水瓶座和金牛座。。。。我不想害了別人

也應該好好面對害羞這回事了。。

誰然覺得是自己一個人，但是我知道我會挨得過去的。。。我是廖延順勒。。。

最近，又聽到新聞說巴基斯坦又有自殺式爆炸攻擊事件了

死了不少人。。。。

考試還可以啦，不會很難。。。

人就是要勇敢的走下去，往前走。。。。。

重新見到陽光 seeing the sunlight again...

2009-09-23T04:54:00.000-07:00

放假了，自然的，也放鬆了很多。。
Its holiday, it is a natural things, to feel much relaxed
壓力少了，腦也有了放空的機會
The pressure is less.. Atlast , my mind can be blanked again
突然閒想通了很多。。。學會了樂觀
I was enlightened , on many things... .Learn the lesson of optimistic.
開心很多
felt much happier
這可能是我成熟了吧？
Maybe I'm mature
我不知道。
I don't know.
這也可能是成長的一部分
Maybe it is a part of growth
深夜之後，一定是陽光
AFter the twillight, there must be sunlight.

May all the beings in the six realm of happiness, can live in happiness..
May no more conflict will be happen.
May love be filled in our hearts..

My Friends and I

2009-09-17T05:49:00.000-07:00

Rules: (Must Obey)
1. To 'I' : Be honest.
2. To 'friends': Do not gets angry at the things written about you. ( if cant do this do not proceeds reading)
3. To 'friends': Do not gets angry if you were not mentioned.

1.What is your name?
Low Yen Soom廖延順

2.What is your gender?
Male

3.What is the requirement to be your friend?
No egoism, no racism, no sexist and no homophobes.

4.When will you feel that: “ its nice to have friends” ?
When they care about me.

5.What is the requirement to be your life-time partner?
Understand me, cares about me..

6.What is the thing your boyfriend/girlfriend does that will let you feel that you are being loved ?
Hug me and head place on my shoulder.

7.Among the friends you have, do you think you will be among the earliest to get married?
Not me.

8.Love and Friendship. Which one do you believe will lasts forever?
Nothing last forever, but things do last forever in a second.

9.Are you proud of the friends you have now?
Yes

10.List down 5 friends whom you consider your close friends, and have known them for a long time.
Yik Pin, Kee Wui, Kin Chong, Jeff, Mei Hui.

1)How long have you known them?
More than one year.

2)Do you remember how do you first know them? If yes, state the situation.
Yik pin-2 guys, me and him talking abt Red Alert 2 coz both of us hate basketball.
Kee Wui and Kin Chong- know them since primary 2
Jeff and Mei Hui-Since Form 1

3)Have you argued with them before? If yes, who apologized first?
All of them,...

4)To be honest, did you felt you could be close with them when you first met them?
Nope....

5)What was your first impression of them?
Yik pin-Tall, honest..
Kee Wui-Wacky, Nice guy.
Kin Chong-Nice, Math Prof!
Jeff-Cute,Funny
Mei Hui-Wise!Can be very strong in her opinion

6)Have they changed if compared to how they used to be when you first know them? If yes, how have they changed?
They never change

8)If you were to compare them to animals, what animals will they be?
Yik Pin-A nice Husky
Kee Wui-Monkey
Kin CHong-Cat
Jeff-A watermelon seeds munching hamster
Mei Hui-A cute squirrel

9)Is there any shortcomings in them that you hope they can change?
I dont want them to change, they are good enough.

10)Have you the confidence that this friendship will lasts forever?
Yes, but i think maybe i will be the one that will be shielding myself away.

Song..

2009-09-09T02:04:00.000-07:00

Acoustic Version of Fairy Tale(童話）

2009-08-31T15:30:00.000-07:00

tell me wht ur feeling r.. guys and gurls.

Trial...

2009-08-22T04:40:00.000-07:00

wao, trial

starting to prepare now....

especially sejarah, Bm and bio.....

bm freak me out....

arrgh!!!!

my type of companion

2009-08-14T19:20:00.000-07:00

1.Do you need him/her to be good looking??
ya....but somehow, internal is equally importnat

2. Smart?
yup

3. Preferred age?
not stated..probably 10year older max

4. Preferred height?
hmm taller than me?

5. How about sense of humor?
ya

6. How about piercings?
for a pair of earrings.. not more than tht

7. Accepts you for who you are?
working hardf on it

8. Pink hair?
I dont want a pink hair, i want a real ...

9. Mushy or no?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

10. Thin or fat?
average

11. Black, Brown or White (skin color)?
any..

12. Long hair or short hair?
either

13. Plastic or metal?
Flesh

14. Smells good?
ya..

15. Smoker?
i dont want it..

16. Drinker?
if for business or carrier yes, or maybe for romance.

17. Girl/Boy-next-door type?
depend

18. Musically inclined?
Dont care

19. Plays piano?
Not a must

20. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar?
not a must

21. Plays violin?
not a must

22. Sings very good?
not a must

23. Vain?

i hate egoism

24. With glasses?dont mind

25. With braces?
okay

26. Shy type?
no..

27. Rebel or good boy/girl?
wht eva

28. Active or passive?
active

29. Tight or bomb?
whteva

30. Singer or dancer? whteva

31. Stunner?
whteva

32. Hiphop?
whteva

33. Earrings?
okay, but not too much..

34. Mr/Ms. count-my-ex-girlfriends-until-you-drop?
im not the jealous type..

35. Dimples?
dont care.,

36. Bookworm?
whteva

37. Mr/Ms. love letter?
okay

38. Playful?
okay

39. Flirt?
but still remeber me...

40. Poem writer?
okay, but i prefer books or stories

41. Serious?
ya, bt not all the time.

42. Campus crush?
not sure.

43. Painter?
whteva

44. Religious?
buddhist like me..

45. Someone who likes to tease people?
joking , yes.

46. Computer games geek? Or internet freak?
wht eva

47. Speaks 20 languages?
oky..

48. Loyal o faithful?
both!!!!!!!!!1

49. Good kisser?
must

50. Loves children??
dunno...

tagged by ariff..wht is my price?

2009-08-14T19:05:00.000-07:00

A- available:Yes
B- birthday:17 feb 1992 a.k.a 13th january(chinese lunar mnth)
C- crushing on:kind of... dunno la
D- drink you last had:coffee
E- easiest person to talk to:yik pin, jeff
F- favourite song: savage garden's song-carry on dancing, because you loved me-Celine Dion
G- gummy bears or gummy worms:gummy bears!!i havent eat it since a very long time ago...
H- hometown:Segamat, Johor
I- in love with: no one..
J- jeans brand:which can make me look good, i dont hv specific brand on clothes.
K- killed someone: my oldself
L- longest car ride: 4 hours, from kl to ipoh, my butt hurts!
N- number of siblings:3
O- one wish: i can shake away all my phobia and try everything in this world... and the one tht can truly understand me
P- person you called last:my brother
Q- question in your mind:how do i get through?
R- reason to smile:happy, or i force myself
S- song you last heard :forgot.
T- time you wake up: 8.35am
U-underwear colour:navy blue
V- vegetables: love it
W- worst habit:afraid of somethin tht havent happen aka preoccupied.
X- xmas gift (best): nothing
Y- yoyo's are: mob in RO, the monkey
Z- zodiac sign: the water bearer.

彷徨

2009-08-12T08:15:00.000-07:00

那一种不安，实在难以形容。

那种不明的恐惧，连我自己也不知道我在慌什么。。

我到底在怕什么？

那种别人的眼光，让我浑身不自在

那种怕与人交谈，与人相看，与人打交道，因为我深怕，我的一个不小心，会把我的秘密暴露出去。。。。。

可能是小时候的不好经历太过多，太过深刻。。

人就是这样，容易原谅，很难忘记，更难放下。

他们对我做过的事情。。。我想起来还是很痛。。。。

不要想它，是你们给我的忠告，但是，对我来说，很难。。。。。。

可能我是要面子吧。。。把所有的痛往肚子里塞。。

但是自己又没有那么坚强，骗自己是坚强的，弄得我更加脆弱

我发现原来我是在躲避问题，成了缩头乌龟

我的恐惧，我得面对。。

但是，我为何不能与别人一样，可以开心大笑，我总被许多事情拘束。。

有人跟我说∶“延顺你想太多了！！！”

也许这是我的孤僻所造成的。。

但是，这也是我的铠甲，

一时，如果帮不上忙，我会怪我自己。。

我承认，我无法像别人一样，有着一样的快乐泉源。。。

但是我相信，我会找到的。。

我必须面对现实。。。

我不可以在懦弱下去了。。。。

我看，我也该学学，如何与人沟通了。。。

srry, the post is in chinese... but i think i hv more feeling if i write in chinese,

When the past haunt, when helplessness is surrounding.

2009-08-01T07:12:00.000-07:00

Yeap, my past haunt me back...

1st, the backstabber, y cant i forget them?? i try hard to not think of them...

2nd y am i afraid of others view on me..

i just can forget my past, how do i face it.. i think tht somehow i m falling apart...

i felt it is very hard to tell my problems to others..

gt ppl ask me not to think abt it, juz enjoy life, but i ask myself, what is enjoy life???

wht happen to me?

Tagged(Hey, what is the value of my price?)

2009-07-28T22:34:00.000-07:00

Nameless(its getting strange)

1. What have you been doing recently?
Facing the reality and my own endless fears.

2. Do you ever turn your handphone off?
For restarting purpose..

3. What happened at 10am today?
Confessing my pain...

4. When did you last cry?
Today, emm, nearly.

5. Believe in Fate/Destiny?
Yes.

6. What do you want in life now?
Eradicate all my fears and worries.

7. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains or just put up your hood?
Umbrella, but there an't any umbrella, i prefer head on..

8. What's your favourite thing to do on bed ?
Sleeping

9. What bottoms are you wearing now?
School Uniform.

10. What are the nicest things in your inbox?
The wonders of nature..sent by Jason.

11. Do you tend to make relationships complicated?
Relatioship should be simple.

12. Are you wearing anything borrowed from anyone?
No...

13. What was the last movie you caught?
Emmm.. forgot.

14. What are you proud of?
My brain?

15 . What does the oldest text msg in your inbox says and who is it from?
GPRS service activated.By 200. 28/8/08

16. What was the last song you sang out loud?
Carry on dancing-Savage Garden.

17. Do you have any nicknames?
They bring nightmare and bad memories.

18. What does the newest text msg says and who is it from?
I cant find it,next time give me address. Jeff 28/7/09

19. What time did you go to sleep last night?
12++ Stress out by my own trauma.

20. Are you currently happy?
No, im depressed.

21. Who gives you the best advice?
My friends?maybe, i cant be sure of an advice is good or not, as choices is in my own hand.

22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
Yuck, do you want to have a diarrhea?

23. Who do you talked to on phone last night?
No one....

24. Is something bugging you right now?
Yes..

25. Who is the last person to make you laugh?
Jeff..

26. Do you like yourself?
Im trying to love myself.

27. You want $5 or $10?
Give it to the needed, pls.. coz i have enough money for this month.

28. Do you think you are stupid sometimes?
Yes, when it is regarding my negative mind..

29. Who is your best best best friend?
Dunno.... maybe yik pin and jeff? dunno.

30. What will you do if you like that boy/girl?
Wait.. and see and observed before any further move is taken.

31. Who are your favourite stars?
Savage garden , Gale Harold , Randy Harrison and Oprah Winfrey.

32. You hate your mother sometimes in some ways?
Sometimes, when she nag and cold war with my father..

33. Do you had even stead before?
Dunno...

34. What type of boy/girl do you like?
Cares about me, encourage me, hug me when i need it.

35. Now are you single/attached?
Single..

Pass this tag to 10 people !
1 Jeff
2 Hui
3 Ariff
4 Kin Chong
5 Crystal
6Yikpin
7Hao Hao
8 Sara
9My brother
10 Myself..

1. Would you date number 5?
NONONONONONONONONONONONO

2. Number 2 just got in a car crash. How do you react?
I will go and c her...

3. You see number 9 with your boy/girlfriend. What do you do?
My bro is straight 1 ..

4. Your room has been ransacked by number 4.
My room? You cant find anything..

5. Number 1 is acting weird.
Ask him 1st

6. Numbers 3 and 8 decide to give 10 a haircut.
I will have a bad hair day.

7. Number 7 just got tickets for him/her and ask you to go to a concert
I will stay at home.

8. Number 10 takes you to a bar.
I m taking myself.

9. Number 4 has to move to the other side of the world.
Go, just go with your wish.

10. You and number 8 are being chased by the cops for an unknown reason.
Sara, what have u done to the cute guy?

11. Number 5 asks you out to dinner.
Eat what? Eat gems?

12. Number 9 and you are sitting on a bus.
Act like nothing happen.

13. Number 6 calls you in the middle of the night because he/she can't sleep.
Go chant some mantra,....

14. Your walking with someone and number 6 runs up and tackles you to the ground from behind.
Say.. hi!!

15. Number 1 is crying one day and you ask him/her why and it seems their boy/girlfriend has dumped them.
impossible!!!!

16. Number 2 offers to bake you a meal. As you sit in the other room, the kitchen is suddenly on flame.
I predicted it oredi.. trust me, she cant cook, wait a minute, u say bake.... Hui, u put metal plate in the oven or u are heating oil in the oven?

17. Number 4 comes to your door one day holding a cola.
Dont drink too much cola... if u want to give me, i will gave it to my toilet bowl..

18. Number 4 just got you an X-Box.
Give him back..

19. Number 9 challenges you to a children's card game
Lose la..

20. Number 1 thinks he/she's overweight.
He say it but it is not.

21. Number 7 looks lonely!
What happened?

22. Number 2 asks you rudely to go leave her/him alone.
She is in her period.

23. Numbers 5 and 3 decide to throw a surprise party for you.
Thank You..

24. Number 6 decide to dye their hair black. What do you say to that?
You should, u have tonne of grey..

25. You catch number 9 by him/herself, crying.
Maybe he broke up... dunno la..

26. Numbers 1 , 3 , 5, and 6 all tackle you at once!
Dont rape me!!!

Because You loved Me(with a QAF twist)

2009-07-26T00:55:00.000-07:00

lyrics
For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through
through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

I'm everything I am Because you loved me

.....................................

2009-07-24T23:17:00.001-07:00

aiyaya!!!

2009-07-24T17:56:00.000-07:00

so, this week ,. we have test.. its the 1st time in my life that i dunno how to finish my est.. not enuf time for me... so i have to write it in an not really consistence method.. damn..

add math is a sudden enlighten that happen to me... grateful coz no trigo are out..!!

Nikki face many problem now... hope she ca make it thru... the most i can do is juz giving her advice and give her a cundi mirror for protection... aii, juz hoe that i can do much thng to others.. but i juz dont have the power....

later i need to go to Sungai Wang with my mom , for Sheseido... my heart have negative feeling , dunno y... going place like this freak me out... maybe im shy or im a crowdephobiac? dunno....

...

2009-07-16T05:03:00.000-07:00

today , i have K3M... walao, got physic question, the question is the net temperature of 3 different volume and temperature of water... the rest ok de.. but i careless on 1 question.. but nvm, let c.. next week we have a small test..but im nervous on my add math... my permutation sucks!!

then, we have our history, as usual.. abit bored, im not sure that i can do it or not.

Reading

2009-07-04T22:49:00.000-07:00

juz now got some guys that i not even know for 1 hour ask me to go out.... but i have work to do, ... SPM arrr!!!

i really hop that im chosen for NS batch 1, so tht i can use up alll my holiday with something meaningful..

now, the most important things is still SPm,

BIo(try my best)
Physic (... okay, maybe?)
Bm ( Dying, but i try my best)
BC(help!!!)

i heard that we will have test in end of this month.

remember, K3M is in 16 of july,

yesterday go to PBSM, thk yip ling, coz u make it interesting and less stressful...

huh.. very tired now...

anyway to increase concentration and alertness??

need help here

Im chosen for National service

2009-07-02T03:02:00.000-07:00

i m chosen....

actually i felt nth , but seems like some of my frens are over reacted.. i think its a good place for me to learn how to socialize with other ppl, coz i dont want to be antisocial anymore,

wednesday, actually im kind of blaming myself... coz i think mi m responsible of the whole team, and we all kind of fail Hasbi expectation, she expect something interesting... i try to do my best... really feel bad at wed, but still, life nid to go on, why bother sad? juz b happy..

loneliness crushes me again... hui and jeff encourage me to get a 'someone' maybe i nid it... still wondering.. mayb after SPm? zDUnno la.. let the road of life tell me...

okay, now my 2nd bro stay outside now....

y? coz he and my mom cold war oredi..

my mom ask him to take the fish out of the fridge, but he forget, then my mom kind of mumbling abt him .. and he gone mad and throw the fish on the floor..

and he rush out of the house, im in shock.. but i noe this things will happen sooner or later, my mom and my 2nd bro is hard when living together..

aiya, their problem, i cant care too much lo...

happy is important, i would like to jhave it and spread to others everyday...

go go go all...

test 2 is coming, trial is coming !!

and also SPM.. ganbateh!

song that make me think of my childhood...

2009-06-27T22:29:00.000-07:00

pls pause my playlist when u c this post.
.

these song r the song of my childhood

thkQ you tube..

this 2 is da best chinese song( in my opinion), so, i beg u all to hear....... and give sum opinion...